Handling Workplace Anger Issues

We often see people getting mad at work, and the ripple-effects are never very good. Anger as a reaction to bad news is a common scene, and anger as an intimidator is often used to get results.
Since coworkers lose a lot of respect for those who vent on a regular basis, what can be done about it?

By Dan Bobinski www.management-issues.com

First we need to find out what causes people to get mad.

Anger most often occurs when what we want to happen is not happening. It manifests itself in various forms, from mild frustration to all out rage. Essentially, we choose anger because we don’t know what else to do to get the results we want, and anger often manipulates others into doing what we want.

Sadly, this view is rather short-sighted.

Additionally, and contrary to popular belief, no one ever “makes” someone else angry. Anger is always a choice one makes.

Whether you are the aggressor or are on the receiving end of outbursts, one of the best ways to combat workplace anger is to have alternative choices.

If you’re one of those who tends to vent, think about when you’ve gotten angry. Don’t blame others, look seriously within. What was it that you didn’t do that you could have done? What didn’t you plan for? Or, were you trying to control something beyond your control?

If you’re truly honest with yourself, you may be surprised at your answers, and realize that other, better choices were at your disposal.

“Better choices” usually means asking better questions. One way is to ask yourself how you could have planned better to prevent a problem from occurring. Another way is to ask forward-thinking, solutions-oriented questions to find a resolution to a problem. These normally start with the words “what” or “how” and incorporate “I” or “we,” not “you.” Examples include “what can we do from here?” or “how can I solve this problem?”

Questions asking “why” or using the word “you” are dangerous because they put people on the defensive and usually try to assign blame. An example could be, “why didn’t you think of this ahead of time?”

Beyond asking better questions, a person who tends toward anger can also choose better actions. Instead of slamming a fist on a desk and raising one’s voice, it’s better to sit back in the chair, breathe deeply, and focus on the next step for resolution. The purpose? A move toward resolution leads to a better sense of control.

Essentially, there is no excuse for relying on anger or intimidation as a way to get things done.

For anyone who must deal with those who choose anger, remember that anger is simply a tactic for trying to gain or regain control. Anyone who works with angry people should memorize this fact.

Therefore, one of the worst things you can say to an angry person is “calm down.” Think about it. An angry person already feels out of control. If they’re being told to calm down, it is telling them to acquiesce to someone else’s command, taking them further out of a feeling of control. This is why many angry people get even madder when told to calm down!

My best recommendation is simply acknowledging why the angry person is upset. One of the best ways to do this is by paraphrasing. A standard line might be “You sound pretty upset about ‘x’”. By acknowledging the reason for a person’s anger, you validate their concern. This gives them a sense of control, and once people feel in control again, their anger starts to subside.

Might I add that it’s usually not a good idea to match a person’s anger. Such action only escalates the other person’s anger, because they continue to feel out of control.

If a person refuses to calm down, simply state that you’d be happy to continue the conversation when emotions have subsided, and then respectfully but quietly disengage. It may even require walking away.

Anymore, continued threats and yelling constitute a hostile work environment, and life is too short to be putting up with such nonsense.

Obviously there are more situations about workplace anger than can be listed here, but this is a start.

Nevertheless, the bottom line is that people with anger habits need to find alternative ways to stay in control, and those who endure antagonistic behavior can set healthy boundaries so they don’t have to put up with it anymore.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a Certified Anderson & Anderson® Provider

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.org
http://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

 

Anger Management Classes

Do you experience extreme feelings of frustration? Do you see red when something doesn’t go your way? Do you get aggressive and agitated easily? Well, if the answer is yes then you are a potential candidate for anger management classes, but to be sure let’s take a simple test.

 

Click on this Anger Test link and see how you score.

 

Anger can manifest itself in numerous ways. Crimes of passion take place because people act impulsively when faced with nerve-racking situations. When you’re angry you lose control of the situation. When you lose control you do things that you normally wouldn’t do and may regret later. People experience anger in varying degrees. While some people repress their anger and deal with it later, others react immediately and vent their frustration on the first thing they come across. Both are potentially dangerous ways to deal with anger. If anger is repressed, a person may get sulky, moody and withdrawn. On the other hand, those who react immediately may use expletives and even resort to physical violence. Repressed anger is sometimes more dangerous than anger that is expressed. This is because pent up emotions can cause nervous breakdowns and lead to sudden disconnected acts of violence much after the incident that caused the anger in the first place occurred.

 

Every individual comes face-to-face with problems that seem larger than life. This culminates in feelings of helplessness and frustration at the workplace. Organizations and therapists are exploring Anger Management as a means to increase productivity and promote harmony at all levels of the hierarchy. Generally, stress and anger is more visible among line and field employees as compared to middle and upper management levels. Relationships between a husband and wife can also get strained on account of physical and verbal abuse. Abusive relationships are often symptoms of mismanaged anger and dissatisfaction. Anger Management seeks to recognize and control misplaced anger.

 

Many therapists have begun Anger Management Classes to help people let go of their anger and lead quality lives. These classes should be overseen by Certified Anger Management professionals who teach people certain techniques for controlling and regulating anger and fear.

 

Effective anger management classes should cover four topics:

• Anger Management
• Stress Management
• Assertive Communication
• Emotional Intelligent

 

The classes are generally conducted with a group of people who experience similar behavioral disorders. Group activities help prevent feelings of intimidation and discomfiture. If anger gets the better of you, it is to your advantage to enroll in an anger management class. It may just be the turning point in your life.

 

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

 

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com

http://www.ami-tx.org
http://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

Attention: All Fellow Texas Anger Management Providers

I am the Program Director of the Anger Management Institute of Texas.  We offer anger management services and are located in Houston, Texas. 

 

Because of the name of my organization, I frequently receive inquiries from individuals, agencies, and employers throughout the Great State of Texas requesting anger management services.  Since I am located in Houston, I am unable to provide anger management services statewide.  In order to have a resource to which I can refer clients outside the Houston area, I decided to develop an Anger Management Resource Directory for Texas.

 

I am writing to you to see if you would be interested in adding your business to this directory. The only requirement is that you provide a link back to the Texas Anger Management Resources Directory.  Link exchanges not only help your visitors get valuable resources from your website, they also help increase search engine rankings.  Reciprocal links are best when the sites are related; exchanging links with this directory will be beneficial to your business.

 

If you are interested in submitting your business listing on the Texas Anger Management Resources Directory, just go to http://www.ami-tx.org. Click on the “Submit Link” item from the main menu and enter your business/website information.  I will be notified of your pending link request.  After reviewing your request and confirming the presence of a reciprocal link on your website, your approved and verified link will be displayed on the directory under the appropriate region/city.

 

The reciprocal linking code that must appear on your website is as follows:

 

<a href=”http://www.ami-tx.org” target=”_blank”>Texas Anger Management Resources Directory</a>

 

Thank you in advance for participating in this link exchange program.

 

Sincerely,

  

Gregory A. Kyles

Anger Management Institute of Texas

http://www.ami-tx.com

http://www.ami-tx.org

Anger in the Workplace

Let’s take a look at anger and see what it is, where it comes from, who has it and what we can do about it and how it can affect the workplace.

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary “anger is an intense emotional state induced by displeasure.” As stated by George Anderson, MSW, in his book GAINING CONTROL OF OURSELVES, “anger is a reaction to an inner emotion…it is an energy that serves a purpose by giving people the drive and determination to cope with difficult situations.”

Anger is a response to stress and frustrations which we all face. Stresses are found in all of our lives every day. They cause us to react. Stress and anger are normal and necessary components in our lives. Anger is a secondary emotion which in the basic sense is one method the body uses to protect itself and its needs.

Who in your office is angry? Is it the receptionist at the front desk taking your telephone calls or greeting your clients? Or is it another employee?

Or is it you who may be facing the stress of a heavy work schedule with too many clients and not enough time or did you bring that anger to work with you this morning from another source, for example the mechanic who gave you a large unexpected estimate for an automobile repair?

Anger is a normal state of mind. At some time or other we all get angry. How we handle that anger is what could be healthy or not. If anger causes an inappropriate response such as verbal or physical abuse it is not healthy and if this behavior is recurrent it requires Anger Management Training.

Furthermore, if inappropriate angry responses continue and if your workplace staff or your clients are exposed to this behavior, you may face serious complications such as loss of clients, loss of business and revenue and/or employees, and possible lawsuits by former staff members all of which can lead to additional stress and frustration and more anger.

The Human Resource Departments of many corporations recognize the need for Anger Management Training for their employees who may be involved in recurrent angry situations with clients, co-workers and superiors.

Anger Management programs should include the following components:

1) Anger Control
2) Stress Control
3) Improvement of Communication Skills
4) Enhancement of Emotional Intelligence

These programs are “teaching” programs not therapy. Anger is a learned response (probably learned in early childhood and carried through into adulthood). By teaching new behavioral techniques to cope with anger and stress, by learning to communicate better and by improving emotional intelligence which, again according to George Anderson, “is the ability to understand one’s own feelings and behavior as well as the capacity to sense the feelings and needs of others and to utilize the information in a way that enhances interpersonal relationships,” then we will be able to control inappropriate behavior such as angry outbursts, rage responses, verbal and physical abuse.

And Anger Management Programs can be most successful with those individuals who have the greatest motivation to seek improvement. An employee in your office, faced with termination unless a course is completed in its entirety, can be well motivated.

By Dr. Steven J. Sinert http://www.nevadaangermanagement.com

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.org
http://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

Why Anger Management Skills are Important

Everybody experiences anger at some point of time or the other. A certain degree of anger is normal and healthy. However, if it gets out of control you can harm not only yourself but also those you come into contact with. Anger is probably the most real of all human emotions. It can increase your determination and will-power to reach the heights of success or it can catapult you into the valleys of fury and rage. By itself, anger is not really dangerous to your well-being. Everything depends on how you deal with it.

 

We lead a different life as compared to our fore-fathers. Technology has perhaps improved life in many ways but it has also made it difficult and stressful. We have no time to smell the roses. We always have to do something yesterday, right now, today or tomorrow. This leads to overwhelming pressure and stress. Let’s take an example of the average married man. He wakes up in the morning to rush to work sometimes without breakfast. He travels miles to his workplace only to be reprimanded by his boss for late-coming. During the day he has projects to complete and deadlines to meet, all under his immediate supervisor’s watchful eye. If something goes wrong he is held responsible. He returns in the evening to a mischievous child and a wife who grumbles about his never having the time for her. A squabble follows making him feel stressed out, angry and depressed. And this is an average day in the life of a married man. The bad days are a different story altogether.

 

Anger Management Skills:  In this age of unusual stress and pressure, anger management training is of paramount importance. It teaches you to accept what you can’t change and channel your energy to feel positive and calm. It is important for people from all walks of life to control and manage their anger. Employees must learn to deal with work pressure and demanding supervisors. Bosses should control their feelings of hostility towards perceived inefficient workers. Couples must stop venting their frustrations on each other. Anger management skills training teaches you all this and much more. Organizations must recognize the need to incorporate anger management training into their overall training programs. Expressing feelings must be encouraged and honest feedback should be provided. This will bring about a sense of harmony and increase productivity at the work-place.

 

Stress Management and Anger: Stress and anger are two sides of the same coin. Often, we are angry because we are stressed and vice versa. The causes of stress are many. Demands at the workplace, uncompromising supervisors, inefficient employees, strained relationships, health issues and financial worries are some of these causes. If you can learn to beat the heat and manage stress half the battle is won. There are various techniques that can be used to manage stress. Try deep breathing when faced with a tense situation. Yoga and meditation can also work as stress busters. Therapists endorse exercising as a means to release feel good hormones and do away with stress and tension.

 

All said and done, anger and stress to a certain degree is desirable and healthy. Excessive stress can lead to fits of anger and affect all aspects of life. Managing stress and anger is important for your emotional as well as physical well being.

 

The most effective way in managing your stress and anger is to learn anger and fear control skills by taking an anger management class. It would be most helpful if the classes focused on anger management, stress management, assertive communication, and emotional intelligence.

For additional information about anger and stress management skills please visit http://www.ami-tx.com . 

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

 

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

 

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com

http://www.ami-tx.org
http://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert  

 

 

 

 

 

 

North Carolina Anger Management/Conflict Coaching Provider Featured in “Real Simple” Magazine

As a representation of his growing influence in the world of anger management, Carlos Todd, http://www.masteringanger.com has been featured in the Time Inc. magazine “Real Simple.”

Visit http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/gallery/0,21863,1779636,00.html to read the article titled “16 Ways to Manage Your Anger ” or pick up a copy of Real Simple at a news stand near you.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a Certified Anderson & Anderson® Provider

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.org
http://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert