Domestic Violence can happen to anybody, anytime. As opposed to general perception, it doesn’t affect any particular type of community or family. The rich and the poor have become victims of domestic violence. No matter what your standing in society is you could be a victim of domestic violence.
Though, the perpetrator is most often a man, in a few cases women also are responsible for domestic violence. Domestic violence takes place between married couples, un-married couples and people in homosexual relationships. Domestic violence is not an isolated incident that takes place. It is generally characterized by patterns of boisterous behavior, abuse, intimidation and control.
Domestic violence is a legally punishable offense. Criminal violence includes physical and sexual abuse. Verbal abuse is not punishable under law but can nevertheless have an appalling effect on the victim. Children are the worst sufferers in the entire situation. They end up with severe trauma and psychological scars that may last a lifetime.
The story of domestic violence in most occasions is the saga of control and power. It is about one person wielding power over the other. Many times it is also associated with anger related behavioral disorders. In many cases the victim is kept behind closed doors and not allowed to communicate with anyone outside the home. In extreme cases he/she is not allowed to even venture outside the house or call anyone. Children live in fear and experience difficulties sleeping and become withdrawn. More often than not children are aware of the abuse but can’t fathom what to do about it.
Domestic violence is all around us. When we witness domestic violence we are often under the notion that they are personal issues and we ought not to interfere. This is a wrong stance to take. We are not aware of how many innocent lives we could have saved had we made that call at the right time. The next time you come across domestic violence don’t look the other way. Offer to help or at least contact someone who can. You never know if someday you may need help too.
Sufferers who put up with years of domestic violence usually have nowhere else to go. They are dependent on the abusers for financial support and may have kids to consider. Though, alcohol and substance abuse worsen the problem of domestic violence they are not considered to be the causes for it. Generally the abusers have underlying issues of inferiority complex, insecurity, low self-esteem, pent-up rage and frustration. Little things drive them over the edge to become full time wife-bashers.
If you are a victim of domestic violence don’t hesitate to seek help. Keep phone numbers of the police and local volunteer groups handy. If you have children try moving them to a safe haven like a friend or family’s place. Keep a cell-phone nearby at all times just in case an emergency occurs.
Domestic Violence and Anger Management: Anger Management is frequently used as a tool to curb Domestic Violence. But many victims of abuse claim that this doesn’t help since domestic violence is not an isolated crime of passion that occurs when anger takes over. Rather, it is premeditated and planned over a period of time to control and manipulate the victim. It has more to do with power and less to do with anger. Batters should be referred to a Batters Intervention & Prevention Program (BIPP) vs. Anger Management Classes; however more and more courts are sending them to both programs.
Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.
Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.
Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers