Battering Intervention and Prevention Program: Letter from a Batterer

Posted on October 3, 2011

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Providing Battering Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP) education services to male batterers is no small task, especially dealing with the minimizing, denying, blaming, faulty core values, and male privilege beliefs on a weekly basis.

Domestic Violence Institute of Texas’ BIPP program customarily provide students an opportunity to share their experience, good or bad, at the end of the 18 week class; some express their joy that the class is over, some who wish to say nothing, and there are those who wish to write and read poems and letters.

Below is a sample of one such revelation:

Mr. Kyles,

In my life I’ve been threw almost everything, and threw it all I’ve found myself asking how did I ever get here. Like the day I first stepped foot into your class. I knew deep inside my heart I needed to be here. But like most of us tried to find ways to maybe feel like we didn’t belong. As I attended more classes I found myself looking forward in to meeting up with all the guys to learn more on how I can better myself. But most of all I’ve learned to accept what I’ve done.

I’ve sat here in this very class for quite sometime now, and I’ve listened to each and every one of us talk about the situations that were all in. Yes, I do know sometimes it seems unfair. So I decided to listen with not only my ears but what we all mostly forget to do from time to time……and that is listen with our hearts.

I cant change the past, nor can I take away all the pain and hurt I’ve caused along the way, but what I do know is I can change how I view things in life now, and strive in every way possible to be a better person for the ones I love.

Mr. Kyles, you present this class in a way that can turn a person that can be as stern as a mule to a person that is now understanding and loving, that alone is a gift in its Self. I’m blessed to be a part of your program. I only wish I could of ran into you long before my troubles. Maybe one day this class will be prerequisite for young men and women around the world.

So for my Family and to all of the families that are involved in this program, I pray for us that we never loose track of the ones we love!

For those of us that wonder if our prayers ever get answered. My answer to you is ……”YES!” just this morning I looked into my daughters and my fiancés eyes and saw a reflection of the man that is going to love them and BE THERE for them for as long as God wants….that reflection of a man was ME.

Our answers have always been there deep within us all. We just need to learn to listen with our hearts.

Thank you for a lesson in life,
Tony A.

Gregory A. Kyles, LPC
Program Director
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.dvi-tx.com