Anger Management Classes in Houston, Texas

Anger Management Institute of Texas provides a safe educational environment for clients to learn socially acceptable means of dealing with anger.  You will certainly benefit from our classes by learning what stress is, including stress management strategies that provide alternatives to avoid violent and self-destructive behavior.

Anger Management Institute of Texas uses the Anderson & Anderson intervention program developed by George Anderson, which is the most effective and most widely recognized curriculum in the world. The primary focus of the curriculum is anger management, stress management, assertive communication, and emotional intelligence.

Class Schedule:

It is recommended, but not required, all Self Referral and Employer Referral students complete 16 Hours of Anger Management to receive a Certificate of Completion.

• Employer referrals need written documentation from Employer detailing the required number of hours if enrolling for less than 16 hours.

The 16 Hours came be completed in 2 weekends if you attend 8 hours per weekend (Sat & Sun) or in 1 month if you attend 4 hours per weekend. You can choose when and what days you want to attend as long as you complete 4 hours in Anger Management, 4 hours in Stress Management, 4 hours in Assertive Communication, and 4 hours in Emotional Intelligence within an 8 week time period.

Fees: Classes – $20 per hour – Assessment – $30 (Optional) – Workbook $30 (Optional)

Other Class Options are available:

8 Hours classes:
The 8 Hours can be completed in 1 weekend if you attend 4 hours Saturday, and 4 hours Sunday or you can attend 2 Saturdays or 2 Sundays. The 8 hours must be completed with a 4 week time period.

Fees: Classes – $20 per hour – Assessment – $30 (Optional) – Workbook $30 (Optional)

12 Hours Classes: The 12 Hours can be completed in 2 weekends or a mixture of Saturday and Sunday 4 hours classes. The 12 hours must be completed with an 8 week time period.

Fees: Classes – $20 per hour – Assessment – $30 (Optional) – Workbook $30 (Optional)

8:00 a.m. – 12:00 noon
1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.
  “Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson provider.”

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
Houston, Texas

Anger in Relationships

In every relationship, conflict is inevitable. It is a part of the relationship dynamic that couples will not always agree with each other. Since disagreements will occur it is important that couples are able to deal with their conflict in ways that allow both parties to feel that there is a fair resolution or what we can call a “win – win” resolution. One person should not feel slighted or not heard by the other. One enemy to this “win-win” resolution is the manifestion of uncontrolled anger responses. When involved in heated arguments the likelihood of saying hurtful words increases and feelings of shame, guilt, and disappointment are sure to follow. Not only are hurtful words likely but it is not possible to really hear the other person when the mind is clouded by anger.

So, how do couples effectively resolve conflicts? There are several things to keep in mind when attempting to resolve a conflict.

First, do not have a discussion when one or both parties is extremely angry. If the conversation turns into raised voices and hurtful words it is better to remove oneself from the situation until both parties are calmed down and ready to talk. This is simply called taking a time-out. When voices are raised neither party is trully listening to the other person and when emotions are too high there is the inability to trully process what the other person is saying. Nothing can be resolve under these circumstances.

Another practice to implement in resolving conflicts is to stick with the topic of discussion. One of the most damaging occurences in conflicts is the tendency of individuals to dredge up past issues or additional perceived problems. This leads to a discussion that jumps from topic to topic and the end result is that the initial issue is not resolved and that problem usually ends up being presented at a future arguement. Stay focused on the topic at hand and if the conversation steers away from that topic it is important for the couple to refocus on the topic at hand so that it is dealt with.

Next…. LISTEN! While one person is talking, the other should be listening.. not talking… not thinking of what they are going to say next. Pay attention to the other person’s words and body language. Emotional intelligence can be a helpful tool during discussions but if you are not paying attention you are not able to be in tuned to the words, thoughts, and feelings of the other party. Try to listen what is being said and see if you can put yourself in their shoes and see from their perspective.

No sarcasm, condesending statements, ridicule, or telling the other person what they feel or how they should feel. It is best to discuss the topic from your own point of view only. Besides your point of view is the only one you really know anyway. The use of “I” statements, where you focus on how the situation impacts your feelings, are much more effective than pointing the finger and insulting the other person. Finger pointing and insulting will only lead to the other person feeling angry, embarassed or belittled.. definitely not a step in the right direction for helping the relationship get back on track.

Finally, be honest. After all, honesty is the best policy! Honesty about the issues related to the conflict as well as expressing your feelings honestly is imperative so that at the end of the discussion both parties have given the other person the oppotunity to understand what is important to them and how the issues at hand have really affected them.

At the end of the discussion both parties should feel that they were “heard” and the couple should be able to feel that there are no loose ends to be brought up later. If either party feels unsettled then the conversation may not be over. It may be necessary to question if the presenting problem is the “real” problem or is it a symptom of a greater issue. If it is symptom of a greater issue then the couple needs to delve a little deeper.

The above ideas is not an exhaustive list. There are many other ideas to keep in mind when experiencing conflict in a relationship. The ones listed here are a few of the most important ones to keep in mind. If your relationship is experiencing serious problems and you and your significant other do not know how to get things back on track it may be a good idea to enroll in a couples anger managment class to improve communication skills, anger management, stress management and emotional intelligence.

By Tanya James, M.Ed., CAMF

“Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson provider.”

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
Houston, Texas

Stress Management Secrets for Relationships

Imagine how your life might be if you knew how to finally stop the stress in relationships that saps your strength, drains your energy and ruins your productivity!

Until you have released the need for judgment, you will always have it reflected back to you in your relationships. This is one of the main causes of stress.

All too often we assume that we know what others mean by what they say or do without bothering to gain a clear understanding of what’s really going on. This inevitably leads to a breakdown in communication and conflict.

Stress Management Technique 1

The biggest secret to stress free relationships is to master the skill of being agreeable!

If you think about it just for a moment this makes a lot of sense. How did you feel the last time someone disagreed with what you though, said or did? Did you thank them, give them a big hug and then ask for more disapproval? Probably not!

The bottom line is that people don’t like being disagreed with. This is what leads to arguments and conflict.

You have a choice every time you relate with another person. You can either be agreeable in nature and in communication or you can be disagreeable. The first choice will cause people to be more relaxed and enjoy your company. The second creates stress and frustration.

It costs nothing to agree with someone else’s point of view even if you think it’s ridiculous. Who are we to judge how another person views their life and the world around them. Conflict always arises from disagreement’s which then leads to power struggles.

This means that either one or all parties are trying to prove that they are right and someone else is wrong. This is a no win scenario because if one person is made wrong, then the outcome is tension and resentment.

More Stress Management Tips

So what do you do if you disagree with what someone is saying? Ask if it’s ok to share your opinion. If the answer is no, then to keep your relationships stress free keep your mouth shut. Changes topics if you need to or go do something fun together but let it go and move on.

Stress Management Tecchnique 2 – Master the skill of understanding.

The key here is to learn to be a good listener. Can you remember a time recently when you were talking with someone and they either interrupted you before you finished talking and started talking about themselves or completely ignored what you said and talked about something totally unrelated?

I know that’s happened to me thousands of times. Well guess what, if you didn’t like it I can guarantee you that others won’t like it if you do it to them.

By listening attentively to what others say and not interrupting you will prevent the possibility of causing stress and tension in your relationships because the people you are communicating with will feel seen and heard.

This builds trust and respect which are two of the most important ingredients of a happy, healthy and productive relationship.

Here are 4 Stress Managment Skills to master the art of listening with the intent to understand…

1. Don’t interrupt unless you have something urgent to attend to. Then excuse yourself politely and make a time to meet with them that you can give your undivided attention.

2. Look them in the eye and keep your body language open

3. Only ask questions that are relevant to the topic. This lets the person who is talking know that you are really listening to them.

4. Never assume you know what someone means, always ask for clarity before sharing you’re opinion. Don’t be afraid to keep asking questions until you are 100% sure about what is being said.

The only time to try and get others to understand you is after you have understood them. Then they are more receptive to what you have to say. This skill is one of the most important in building good bonds between people that are stress free. There is nothing more powerful than letting others know that they matter.

The final word on stress relief in relationships

Happy, healthy and stress free relationships are no accident. They are skillfully developed over time by people who care about people. These secrets will only work if you apply them.

The more you apply them, the less stress you will have in your relationships. I know this for a fact because they have been working for me for more than 15 years.

By Michael Atma
To Your Great Life and Health…

“Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson provider.”

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
Houston, Texas

Feel Those Feelings and Develop Emotional Intelligence

There is an old joke about a man who is walking home along the street in the early hours of a weekend and he sees another man, who is obviously very drunk, on his hands and knees, searching for something. “What are you looking for?” he asks the drunked man. “My house keys” the man replies. “Where did you drop them?” he asks. “Two streets away” he slurs. “Why aren’t you looking there then”, he asks, puzzled. “Because the light’s much better here.”

Now, during my initial training and learning, I was quite unsure about myself in many ways! Yes, even me, some may say that I have gone rather extremely the other direction now! I tried lots of the things I learned with self-hypnosis and different aspects of the standard NLP approaches to overcome this uncertainty and lack of confidence in my ability to do what I wanted to do, but none of them seemed to work for me. I still got the butterflies in my tummy and lacked a real sense of confidence, in fact I felt nervous about doing what I wanted to do (what if it all went wrong and I failed!!). I had spent some time fighting the anxious feeling, then one day I said to myself “Adam, just experience it, stop resisting it, stop fighting it; just feel it” and an amazing thing happened. I felt the nervous feeling, then it disappeared! I was shocked. All those previous months and years of fighting it, and all that I really needed to do was to feel it. I acknowledged it and stopped resisting.

Doing this is to heighten your own awareness of your own map of the world.

One of the presuppositions of NLP is ‘meet people at their map of the world’. This is a process of seeing things from their point of view or being aware of their experience and is a far depper discussion for another time. Now, I was fine at doing this with other people and my successful therapeutic consultancy is over the years has been solid proof to me of that, but before all that started, all those years ago, I suddenly realised that I had not been meeting myself at my map of the world. Whenever I felt feelings that I did not like, I would struggle, resist and fight them, and you know what they say: When you fight with yourself, someone always loses, and that someone is you. So I decided to stop fighting and resisting my feelings and instead to acknowledge them and start working with them.

WHere am I going with all this then? If there is a feeling that you find unpleasant or that seems unhelpful or that you just plain don’t like, firstly, map out the feeling. This is just a process of identifying where in your body that feeling is, really locate that feeling in your body. Now think about what size it is, how it moves; I used to have a fluttering feeling in the pit of my tummy that as I reisted it more would spread into my chest and back down again. Really be aware of the feeling physiologically, even think about what temperature it is, you can even take it a step further and think about what colour it would be if it had one etc.

While most people profess to know what they are feeling, you would be amazed at how many people have not got in the slightest bit acquainted with the physical characteristics of the emotions they are experiencing, they just let them happen passively without really getting an awareness of them. Emotions are physical (they are chemicals and all sorts of other things too), so the first step is to map out that physicality.

Next up, accept the feeling. Become OK with the fact that you are feeling it. For more on how to accept things in your life, again, dig out the article from a previous edition of “Adam Up” that was all about that, it is there in the archive on my website.

Of course, this can be a bit of a struggle for some people, who will no doubt say “But I don’t want to feel it” or “I shouldn’t be feeling it.” I know some of you are thinking that.

So here is the thing: you are feeling it, and if you want to change the feelings quickly, the most expedient way to do it is to meet yourself at your map of the world and accept that presenting feeling that you are having. If you refuse to do this, then you are just resisting it or fighting it as I was doing back then. Then any attempt to change it will involve starting from where you aren’t, and that rarely works out well (as our tipsy man looking for his keys on the wrong street can attest to.)

Then, you find the positive intent. What is your body or your unconscious trying to tell you? Sometimes feelings have a message of some sort for us. Other times, they’re just sensations that our body has some purpose for feeling. What (if anything) is this feeling doing for you or trying to tell you?

Then; feel it. Just feel it. Be sure not to struggle or fight, just feel it. Remember to breathe too 😉

You don’t have to do this for long, but it is really good to feel something. Even if it feels bad, the fact that you can feel it means that you are alive (woo-hoo!) and it also means that you are in touch with how you feel. These are both good things to be able to acknowledge and realise within yourself. Often, just accepting and realising a feeling is putting it in a vast different perspective.

The final part of this process is to then play with the feeling.

Increase the feeling’s intensity. The reduce it. If it was one colour, make it another, if it was moving in a certain direction, move it in another, if it was a certain size, enlarge it or make it smaller, basically, have a play with it and discover just how much influence you have over this feeling. I think you will be surprised when you realise just how much influcence you really do have.

One of the things you’ll begin to find as you start to experience is just how much it’s possible for you to get a handle on your feelings. You may well discover for yourself that feelings aren’t true or false. They don’t really mean anything. They are just sensations that you are experiencing in your body. If you resist them, they’ll be there for some time, but if you accept them, you can start to play with them and change them. Does this mean you’ll not have a bad feeling ever again? No. Feelings will come and feelings will go, but what it does mean is that you can start to have more and more of the sorts of feelings you want to have. I know that whatever you are wanting to do in life, you’ll be wanting to punctuate your life with more and more good feelings, am I right?

So, enjoy your day today and make sure that you are spreading some good feelings into your life.

By Adam Eason

“Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson provider.”

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
Houston, Texas

How to Talk so Your Partner will Listen

If you’re convinced that you and your partner don’t communicate, you may have tried many ways to improve your communication with each other, with poor results. You may think that telling him over and over will do the trick. You may believe that raising your voice will get her to listen. All that results is a shouting match that ends up in hurt feelings and silence, or worse.
You are, in fact, communicating. It’s just not working like you want it to. Here is a list of ten ways to improve your interactions with your partner to increase your chances of a successful dialog with each other.

Try them out and be patient with yourselves as you begin this journey. Remember, Michael Jordan didn’t become a professional basketball player in a day. It took years of work. So it is with relationships. You learn and work everyday to become the people you want to be, together. Enjoy the journey. It’s worth it!

1. Ask to schedule a time to talk. Wait for an answer and thank your partner for agreeing to a time.

2. Set a time limit. This should be no more than an hour, and preferably 15 to 20 minutes. If your partner realizes that you honor her/his time, she will be more willing to do this again (and perhaps for longer next time).

3. Stick to one topic per conversation. This is easier to do if you set a time limit and stick to it. Otherwise, you risk overwhelming your partner. If you want to talk about another subject, ask your partner if it’s all right. If not, ask to schedule another time to talk.

4. Timing is everything: Pick a time when you are both well rested and calm. It’s counter-productive to grab your partner as soon as he walks in the door or when she is tired.

5. Use Assertive Language. These are phrases like: “I would like _____________.” “I don’t like ____________.” “I would prefer ___________.” “I feel uncomfortable about ___________.”

6. Request what you would like instead of demand. Use questions like: “How would you feel about __________?” “What do you think about ___________?” “Would you be comfortable with __________?” “Would you consider ____________?”

7. Accept “no” as a valid answer. Your partner has a right to disagree and to say no. When you choose to argue with a “no” answer, you’re saying that it’s not OK for your partner to disagree with you or to say no.

8. Ask for what you want, not what you don’t want. This may seem confusing, but if you’re requesting that (not demanding) your partner change behaviors, express it in terms of what you want to happen: “I would like to make the housework more even. I would like to see you do more ___________. What are you willing to do?”

9. Respect yourself and your partner. Beware of statements that begin with “you.” Unless the words “are the most wonderful person in the world,” come next, “you” statements often are blaming, labeling, critical statements.

10. Express your appreciation about the things you like that your partner does. Appreciation is the glue of relationships. Your partner will listen to you easier when you give large doses of appreciation on a regular basis. Caution: it won’t work if you only use appreciation when you’re trying to get something done (“I love how you wash the dishes so thoroughly. Oh, look, there’s a sink full now.”)

Remember, these are guidelines to help improve your communication skills. They may seem stiff and artificial at first. Keep trying them out and you will develop your own, more effective style as you practice with the people you care about the most!


“Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson provider.”
Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers

Stress Management–Desk Rage is More Common in the Workplace

As any human resource executive can tell you, frustration and office temper tantrums by employees are not unusual, but two new studies indicate that incivilities in the workplace appear to be increasing. Termed “desk rage,” by one survey, it includes arguments between employees, pen throwing managers and workers kicking expensive computer equipment in fits of aggravation.

In a telephone survey commissioned by Integra Realty Resources, Inc, nearly one-third of 1,305 workers who responded admitted to yelling at someone in the office, and 65% said workplace stress is at least occasionally a problem for them. Work stress had driven 23% of the respondents to tears, and 34% blamed their jobs for a loss of sleep.

In a separate study published in the quarterly journal Organizational Dynamics, it was found that workers who experienced rude behavior at work had reactions that were negative for business. Nearly one-third of them admitted intentionally decreasing their commitment to the company, with a quarter indicating that they stopped doing their best. Almost 12% of the rudeness recipients quit their jobs to search for friendlier environments.

Workplace stress is not new, but many experts and workers feel that it is at epidemic levels. Several economic and social trends have escalated tensions or at least made employees more sensitized to stress. Years of layoffs and downsizing have left a lingering sense of job insecurity for many workers while demands for productivity have increased.

At the same time, the nature of the American workforce has changed. It is more diverse, includes more women, and multiple generations, which can exacerbate on-the-job tensions. There is a sense that the technology that was suppose to make jobs easier, from cell phones to e-mails, have turned into high-tech leases. Referred to as “technology tethers” by C. Leslie Charles in her book, Why Is Everyone So Cranky? She feels American workers are overwhelmed, overworked, overscheduled and overspent.

“We’re leading these non-stop lives, and we’re continuing to accelerate the pace,” according to Charles. “We are so preoccupied with what we’re doing and what’s next that we have an inability to process what’s just happened or what’s bugging us.”

Charles recommends the following tools to de-stress your work life:

• Fortify your “emotional immune system (EIS)” When exposed to “crankiness,” stop and quantify the problem and put it in perspective. Is this a small, medium or large annoyance? Or something more serious? How large of a response is required? Make your reaction match the size of the problem.

• Take a “Reality Bite.” Expecting, waiting and hoping for things to be different in our lives only increases our susceptibility for crankiness. Expect some parts of life to be frustrating; you will wait in lines that are too long, people will do things that irritate you, and you will encounter inconvenience more days than not. Accept this reality. Let it roll off your back and smile. It may not change what is happening, but you will feel better.

• Take time out for a Personal Battery Recharge. What do you really enjoy doing? When was the last time you did it? Take the time to recharge. Whether a game of golf, a walk with your spouse or reading a book, take the time for renewal as often as possible.

By Barbara Bartlein

“Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson provider.”

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
Houston, Texas

Eight Simple Anger Management Tips

“The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”

One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:

Anger impedes our ability to be happy, because anger and happiness are incompatible.
Anger sends marriages and other family relationships off-course.
Anger means lost business, because it destroys relationships.
Anger also means losing business that you could have won in a more gracious mood.
Anger leads to increased stress (ironic, since stress often increases anger).
We make mistakes when we are angry, because anger makes it harder to process information.
People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger management programs and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.

For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:

Ask yourself this question: “Will the object of my anger matter ten years from now?” Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.

Ask yourself: “What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?” If someone cut in front of you at the book store check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.

Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too … sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?

Ask yourself this question: “Did that person do this to me on purpose?” In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.

Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while angry.

Try some “new and improved” variations of counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in between each number. Deep breathing — from your diaphragm — helps people relax.

Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old “one-steamboat-two-steamboat, etc.” trick seems kind of lame to me. Steamboats are not the best devices to reduce your steam. How about “One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ice-cream”, or use something else that you find either pleasant or humorous.

Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.

One thing I do not recommend is “venting” your anger. Sure, a couple swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better (better, at least, than the same blows to the door!), but research shows that “venting” anger only increases it. In fact, speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices and builds that emotion.

If these tips do not help at all and you still feel you cannot manage your anger and the related stress, you may need some professional help, either in the form of a therapist specializing in anger management or a coach with a strong background in psychology.

By David Leonhardt

“Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson provider.”

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
Houston, Texas