Recipes For Instant Stress Relief

Many people tell me that it’s impossible to laugh or be happy when they are stressed. The fact is that laughter is one of the fastest ways to change your emotional state. From watching your favourite comedy movie to reading a good joke, a good belly laugh can go a long way to cure the day-time blues.

Here are some simple stress management techniques to reduce stress and increase happiness.

Wake-up and laugh

First thing in the morning before you get out of bed sit-up and just start to laugh. At first it may feel a bit fake but if you persist you’ll soon start laughing at how silly it feels. This is a great way to begin each day with a laugh.

Decide to be happy.

Intention is the best indicator of how you’ll feel in future, so make a choice to increase your happiness. Deciding to be happy will direct your thinking toward activities that will bring joy into your life. It also attracts people who want to share in that joy.

Make happiness one of your core values.

Your choices are based on your values. If you regulate happiness to a low priority in life, other choices will take precedence. Where’s happiness located on your list relative to work, taking care of others, spending money, worrying about things, etc?

Happiness is an inside job.

You are the only person who has the power to decide whether or not you’ll be happy. No external situation can make you happy or unhappy – not another person and certainly not any thing. It’s how you choose to respond to a person or an event that determines how you feel.

Think about what you want.

What do you think will make you happy? Picturing positive outcomes allows your brain to orient itself to mapping out steps to move you in the right direction.

Practice appreciation.

Look for three things each day for which you are grateful and write them down on your calendar. The more you practice appreciating what’s good about your life, yourself and other people, the bigger your happiness bank account will become. Then when negative events affect your balance, you’ll have plenty of positives in reserve.

Practice forgiveness

Bad things happen to good people. Good people make bad mistakes. There’s nothing you can do about it other than forgive and move on to making yourself happy again. When you hold onto bad feelings from the past, you prolong your suffering. Don’t give unhappy thoughts a home. Let negatives drift away.

Practice being happy

Happiness is like a muscle – it gets stronger the more you exercise it. Keeping yourself happy is like staying in shape. You’ll become better at it the more you do it. It will become easier to do. And eventually it will become a habit that you’ll really miss when you don’t do it.

Make others happy

Doing good things for others will keep your relationships working well because what goes around almost always comes back multiplied. Knowing that you’re a person who makes other people feel good also will give you a deep sense of satisfaction about who you are as a person.

Attitude creates gratitude.

People appreciate those who have a good attitude. A “poor me” attitude only gets you poor results no matter how much you do for others. If you want to be respected for your efforts, be the person who provides lots of positive reinforcement for the contributions of others.

Keep your spirits up. You can face any challenge in life if you have faith in yourself and a higher power. To renew your energy, you need to make time to replenish your spirit through meditation, prayer or communing with nature.

Stress Relief Tips Made Easy

The secret to happiness is really no mystery. Happiness is a natural state of being that appears when you’re not busy being unhappy. Allow yourself to flow through life like a leaf in a stream, whenever an obstacle comes you way find a way to flow over it, or around it and then continue on with wherever you’re headed without a second glance behind you.

To your great life and health!

By: thesmartcoach

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers

Three Tips to Forgiveness: A Key Factor in Anger Management

Elizabeth, 32, cried during anger management class as she told how one year ago – her 19-month-old girl was permanently brain-damaged as the result of a medical error at the hospital in which she was delivered.

Elizabeth had a legitimate grievance toward the hospital and medical staff, and felt that she could never forgive them for what she saw as theri incompetence. She clearly was not yet ready to forgive. She felt she needed her simmering anger to motiviate her to do what she felt she needed to do legally and otherwise to deal with this horrific situation.

Yet, at some point in the future – when she is ready – Elizabeth might decide to find a way to forgive. To be able to do this, she will have to take the step of separating two things in her mind: (1) blaming the hospital for what they did and (2) blaming them for her resulting feelings about the situation.

Reasons to forgive

Elizabeth cannot change what was done to her daughter, but she can change how she lives the rest of her life. If she continues to hold an intense grievance, she is giving what happened in the past the power to determine her present emotional well being. Until she forgives, Elizabeth will be victimized over and over again, trapped in an emotional prison.

Should you forgive?

The answer to this question always comes down to personal choices and decisions. Some people in our anger management classes feel that certain things cannot and shouldn’t be forgiven; others feel that ultimately anything can be forgiven.

As an example of what is possible, the staff of the Stanford Forgiveness Project successfully worked with Protestant and Catholic families of Northern Ireland whose children had been killed by each other. Using the techniques taught by the Stanford group, these grieving parents were able to forgive and get on with their lives.

On the other hand, Dr. Abrams-Spring, author of the classic “After the Affair,” cautions that quickly and easily forgiving a cheating partner indicates low self-esteem. In her view, forgiveness must be earned by the offending partner, but given automatically.

Reasons to forgive

Studies have shown that there are measurable benefits to forgiveness:

– Forgiving is good for your health. Studies show that people who forgive report fewer health problems while people who blame others for their troubles have a higher incidence of illness such as cardiovascular disease and cancers.

– Forgiving is good for your peace of mind. Scientific research shows that forgiveness often improves your peace of mind. A 1996 study showed that the more people forgave those who hurt them, the less angry they were.

– Two studies of divorced people show that those who forgave their former spouse were healthier emotionally than those who chose not to forgive. The forgivers had a higher sense of well being and lower anxiety and depression.

Forgiveness tips

It is common for angry people to think, “I want to forgive, and I know I should, but I don’t know how.” Here are some starting points:

Tip 1: Remember, forgiveness is a process that takes time and patience to complete. You must be ready. Realize that forgiveness is for you – not for anyone else.

Tip 2: Realize that forgiving does not mean you are condoning the actions of the offender or what they did to you. It does mean that you will blame less and find a way to think differently about what happened to you.

Tip 3: Refocus on the positives in your life. A life well lived is the best revenge. People who find a way to seee love, beauty and kindness around them are better able to forgive and get past their grievances.

By Dr. Tony Fiore

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson provider.

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
American Association of Anger Management Providers
Houston, Texas

Why We Choose Anger (And How To Take Another Road)

Anger had turned into an epidemic these days. Few realize that anger is a choice we make and that it is fairly easy to take another road. This article explores the reasons why we choose anger, the consequences that choice has, and offers specific guidance on how to make a different choice.

By Brenda Shoshanna

Anger has turned into an epidemic in our world today. It is crucial to take a step back and realize the enormity of the danger we are facing, not only from external expressions of anger, but from the anger we each carry within. The time has come to face the truth about anger, learn what it truly is, where it comes from, why it arises, and how to stop it on the spot.

Anger Is A Choice We Make

Believe it or not, anger is a choice we make. But what are some of the reasons that we would hold onto this poison, and refuse to let it go? For starters, many become addicted to anger. Anger gives a false sense of power and strength. This is a lie it tells. When a person is addicted to anger, they are really becoming addicted to the temporary sense of power, and strength they receive.

When very angry, a person often feels that they are definitely right and everyone else is wrong. A false sense of decisiveness is created. It becomes easier to take action (though the action is almost always off base). However, the rush an individual gets from anger is counterfeit, a substitute for real strength. After the anger passes, and the consequences of the anger set in, the person usually feels weak and depleted. Often there is considerable regret for words spoken or action taken rashly.

When we realize the truth of the situation, it is easier to let go of anger and proceed constructively. For example, we grow to understand that real strength comes from the power to see the entire situation for what it really is and respond with clarity and compassion.

Who Would I Be Without My Anger

Anger not only tells us lies – it often becomes a person’s identity. “Who would I be without my anger?” people say. When one is addicted to anger, it becomes the person’s identity. They feel that without their anger they would become a doormat and out of control. Anyone could do what they wanted to them. Actually, the opposite is true. Without anger we can live from the highest and best of who we are.

The Fuels For Anger

Even when we want to let go of anger, there may be many fuels that keep it going. It is important to become aware of what these fuels are, so we can put them out. A basic fuel of anger is the feeling that we must fight for what we need and want and that we must also fight not to allow others to win or deceive us. This is built upon the basic idea that others are our opponents, (or enemies), that what they want and need conflicts with our needs. We believe that both cannot be winners, one must lose and the other gain, we must struggle for what is our due, there is not enough to go around for all. We divide the world into two camps, those who are with us and those who are not. This idea is a great fuel for anger, because we feel it is fine to attack those who are are not on our side.

We do not stop to realize that those who seem to be our enemies one day, may become our dearest friends the next. Friends turn to enemies and the other way around all the time. When we are ready to let this lie go, it becomes easy to see that the good of one is always the good of all. Our basic well being lies in the ability to give and receive love and support, to share our lives, struggles and joy with others. The more we do this, the more fulfilling and healthy our lives become.

Learn to give up one form of anger a day, and replace it with a healthy substitute in award winning book The Anger Diet, (30 Days To Stress Free Living) . Acclaimed psychologist, speaker, family and divorce mediator has helped thousands resolve conflicts fairly and constructively. Contact her at:, 212-288-0028, .

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers