Dealing with Anger Management

We all experienced those moments in which we feel completely out of control with frustrations. Perhaps you’ve thrown something across the room, screamed at someone uncontrollably or put your fist through a wall. Having this kind of experienced, most people react rationality out of their emotion. Unfortunately, the majority of people will lash out without thinking and then realize what they should have done after the fact and the damage isn’t exactly easy to take back. Through this, without even realizing that we hurt the feelings of others during those stressful moments and perhaps even cause some damage to ourselves or our property.
An emotional state that may range in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Anger has physical effects including raising the heart rate and blood pressure and the levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. It inspires powerful and often aggressive feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and defend ourselves when we are attacked. hen anger gets out of control and turns destructive it can lead to problems at work, in personal relationships, and affect the overall quality of life. People with anger management issues get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person, and the notion that “letting it all out” helps is false, because it actually escalates anger and aggression, which doesn’t resolve anything.

The term, “anger management”, commonly refers to therapeutic techniques and exercises practiced by someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger to control or reduce triggers. The goal of anger management is learning how to control anger before it controls the individual, both emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes according to the American Psychological Association and various reliable online resources. The most common techniques recommended immediately before escalation of emotions is to stop talking, stop staring, and leave the room. Learning relaxation techniques like deep breathing and meditation will also help, in addition to stress management skills, learning empathy and forgiveness, and becoming optimistic instead of pessimistic. Chronic mismanagement of anger can lead to serious physical and mental disorders, and if the individual is not proactive, whether by voluntary or involuntary means, the outcome could be disastrous.

We need to understand anger management. Even though, some people don’t need to go to the anger management classes that your communities offer, but others may have that need. There are people who can control their anger and deal with it in healthy ways. They have somehow learned that their emotions can be controlled and that they need to react only after they have thought the situation through. They still have the same physical reactions that are natural to every human being – the quickened heartbeats, raise in blood pressure and the levels of adrenaline. That’s what your body does instinctively when you get angry. The important concept of anger management is the physical reaction that your body doing. Of course, our bodies and minds react in an aggressive manner. We want to whip out and defend ourselves. Even the meekest of individuals will experience that feeling. In fact, isn’t bad thing to react in that manner in that some kind of situation. But, most scenarios don’t need such a harsh outburst. We all know that we can’t get rid of the people who annoy us or the scenarios in this world that will test our patience beyond its limits, but we can change how we react.

If you are attending classes, or reading books and listening to lectures, this can be helpful and life altering that can convey to you. You’ll learn relaxation techniques and how to calm yourself down in certain situations. And also you will learn ion techniques and how to calm yourself down in certain situations. You’ll learn how the language and words that you use in aggravating scenarios can be unwise choices and incredibly harmful. Once you can learn some relaxation or calming techniques, you’ll be better able to solve problems much more rationally than you may have previously. You may also find that you’re learning to communicate with others as well. Suddenly, learning some of these anger management solutions in which you can convey your anger in healthy ways will have you seeing the world a bit differently. If you find that you struggle with anger management, admitting that you may need to find some healthier ways of dealing with life and its stresses could be a great way to start to enjoy your life more. In fact, every single person could benefit greatly from learning some forms of anger management. You just may be surprised at the person you turn into. Limits are placed on how far anger can take an individual, by laws, social norms, and hopefully common sense. People just can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys them; they need to focus on something positive instead of losing control and dramatizing every life event. Fortunately for these people, there are many reliable self-help resources available online for people with anger issues, including online anger management counseling and education.

By Crizza Reyes http://www.tomnicoli.com/emotional-freedom-series.shtml

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.org
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

Anger: To Control Or To Learn

Many of us will do anything to avoid another’s anger, yet may be quick to anger ourselves. Many of us dread another’s anger yet continue to use our own anger as a way to control others.

Let’s take a deeper look at what generates our anger and how we can learn from it rather than be at the mercy of it.

The feeling anger can come from two different places within us. Anger that comes from an adult, rational place can be called outrage. Outrage is the feeling we have when confronted with injustice. Outrage mobilizes us to take appropriate action when harm is being done to ourselves, others, and the planet. Outrage is a positive emotion in that it moves us to action – to stop crime and violence, clean up the environment, and so on. Outrage comes from a principled place within, a place of integrity, caring and compassion.

Anger can also come from a fearful adolescent place within – from the part of us that fears being wrong, rejected, abandoned, or controlled by others, and feels intensely frustrated in the face of these feelings. This part of us fears failure, embarrassment, humiliation, disrespect, and helplessness over others and outcomes. When these fearful feelings are activated, this adolescent part, not wanting to feel helpless, may move into attacking or blaming anger as a way to attempt to control a person or a situation. Blaming anger is always indicative of some way we are not taking care of ourselves, not taking responsibility for our own feelings and needs. Instead of taking care of ourselves, we blame another for our feelings in an attempt to intimidate another to change so that we will feel safe.

Blaming anger creates many problems in relationships. No one likes to be blamed for another’s feelings. No one wants to be intimidated into taking responsibility for another’s needs. Blaming anger may generate blaming anger or resistance in the other person, which results in a power struggle. Or, the person at the other end of blaming anger may give in, doing what the angry person wants, but there is always a consequence in the relationship. The compliant person may learn to dislike and fear the angry person and find ways to passively resist or to disengage from the relationship.

When blaming anger comes up, the healthy option is neither to dump it on another in an attempt to control them, nor to squash and repress it. The healthy option is to learn from it.

Our anger at another person or situation has much to teach us regarding personal responsibility for our own feelings and needs. As part of the Inner Bonding process that we teach (see our free course at www.innerbonding.com), we offer a three-part anger process that moves you out of feeling like a frustrated victim and into a sense of personal power.

The Anger Process

The Anger Process is a powerful way to release anger, as well as to learn from the source of the anger.

Releasing your anger will work only when your intent in releasing it is to learn about what you are doing that is causing your angry feelings. If you just want to use your anger to blame, control and justify your position, you will stay stuck in your anger. This three-part anger process moves you out of the victim-mode and into open-heartedness.

1. Imagine that the person you are angry at is sitting in front of you. Let your angry wounded child or adolescent self yell at him or her, saying in detail everything you wish you could actually say. Unleash your anger, pain and resentment until you have nothing more to say. You can scream and cry, pound a pillow, roll up a towel and beat the bed. (The reason you don’t tell the person directly is because this kind of cathartic, no-holds-barred “anger dump” would be abusive to them.)

2. Now ask yourself who this person reminds you of in your past – your mother or father, a grandparent, a sibling? (It may be the same person. That is, you may be mad at your father now, and he is acting just like he did when you were little.) Now let your wounded self yell at the person from the past as thoroughly and energetically as in part one.

3. Finally, come back into the present and let your angry wounded self do the same thing with you expressing your anger, pain and resentment toward your adult self for your part in the situation or for treating yourself the way the people in parts one and two treated you. This brings the problem home to personal responsibility, opening the door to exploring your own behavior.

By doing the anger process instead of trying to control others with your anger, you de-escalate your frustration while learning about the real issue – how you are not taking care of yourself in the face of whatever another is doing or in the face of a difficult situation.

Whenever anger comes up, you always have the choice to control or to learn.

By Margaret Paul, Ph. D.

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.org
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

So They Say You Have An Anger Problem… Now What?

Uncontrolled anger can become a major barrier to a harmonious life. It can cause major damage in our personal, social and professional lives. The ways we handle anger and stress are learned responses. In other words, our reactions to difficult and stressful situations are largely based on how we observed our caregivers or other important people in our lives handle difficult and stressful situations. For example, if we had a mother that became verbally aggressive because she was stressed out, we may tend to do the same thing. What if we consistently saw our parents allow minor problems cause them major stress? Odds are we will grow up doing the same thing. Growing up around people that used fighting as a way to solve conflicts with other people could have taught us that we should use violence to solve our disputes instead of talking things out to find mutual resolutions.

The good news about maladaptive behaviors/reactions such as uncontrolled anger is that they can be readjusted into coping strategies that are more effective. There are several steps that you can take in order to get your anger under control. The first step is to identify what your anger triggers are. Anger triggers are those situations that frequently lead to you becoming mad.

The following exercise will help you identify your triggers and is a simple yet effective way to begin getting on the right track with managing anger. It can easily be adapted for identifying other emotions such as stress and anxiety among others.

Identifying Anger Triggers

1. Think back to the last time you became really angry. What happened?

2. Were there other emotions that came right before you became angry? Anger is a secondary emotion so you probably felt something else first such as embarrassment, betrayal, and shame, ect. See if you can identify what emotion came before your anger.

3. In the past 6 months how many times has a similar situation presented itself with similar results?

4. Think of other times when you have “lost it” and make a list of what happened in those situations that cause you to become so upset.

5. See if you can identify some commonalities among these situations.

The final list is a list of anger triggers. Once you have this list you should have more insight into what situations typically lead to you losing control on your emotions. Now that you have this list you can move forward with doing more work to get your anger under control. More to come.

By Tanya James, M.Ed., CAMF http://www.amofmetroatlanta.com

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

How To Control Your Anger

We’ve all felt anger at some time or another – we all know how it is. There are times when you fly into a great rage and others when a small annoyance will make you feel angry and cause you to flare up. When you are angry, your instincts cause you to react with immediate aggression and to ignore how to control your anger. This is a normal, natural response that has deep roots in your physical make up, a legacy from mankind’s pre-historic origins when instinctive anger produced the powerful, aggressive feelings that were needed to fight attackers and preserve survival.

In today’s world, when you feel angry the origins of your anger can often come from within you. When you worry about nagging, persistent, personal problems and feel unable to find solutions to them, you feel a great anger surging within you. Or you may feel an internal rage derived from memories of childhood traumas or abuse that gives rise to an anger that you don’t know how to control.
It’s perfectly normal for you to get angry, just as long as you know how to control your anger. If you don’t, your anger will get you into a great deal of trouble. If you are unable to control your anger in the workplace, you can lose your job. If you don’t know how to control your anger in your relationships with others – with your family, with your friends or with your partner in life – as well as causing them much pain and grief, soon you will find yourself alone and isolated.
Perhaps the worst aspect of not knowing how to control your anger is that it leads to your anger feeding upon itself. The more trouble your anger causes you, the angrier you become. And when you get angrier, the more trouble you get into, on and on in a destructive spiral. In the end, your uncontrolled anger will cause you to crash because the rules and laws of acceptable social behavior will not allow you to express your anger in whatever way you want. But there are dangers if you do not find a way to express your anger, but keep it bottled up inside you, because it can cause you such health problems as heart trouble, high blood pressure, hypertension and/or chronic depression.

On the other hand, when you don’t know how to control your anger and how to express it in a healthy acceptable manner, but keep it suppressed inside, you turn into an unlikable sneaky person. You are aggressive towards people in indirect ways, such as underhandedly getting back at them, always criticizing or putting them down, always ready with snide remarks, resentful, cynical and deprecating of others. With such character traits you are unable to form relationships with others, which causes you to be alone and bitter, feeding even more your suppressed anger in another spiral without end.

When you know how to control your anger, you are able to deal with it by means of conscious effort and by unconscious reactions that you have trained yourself to have. You are able to express assertively and forcibly but not aggressively the anger you feel. You can say plainly what your feelings are and what you require of others, without being hostile and demanding.

If you don’t know how to control your anger, it will be obvious to you. You will be aware of frequent occasions when you are out of control, at times to a frightening extent. Whereas in the opposite case of suppressed anger, it can be that you feel bitter and angry inside, resentful and hostile towards other people, with a perpetual grievance against all and everyone, always trying to get back at others. Whatever may be your situation, if your anger is out of control either through outward aggressive behavior or from constant inward rage at the world, on the Internet you can get effective modern teaching from professional counselors on how to control your anger.

By: William Grigsby

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert