Questions About Anger

Anyone who lives with an abusive partner knows how difficult it is to make it through the night. Anyone who works under a sullen boss knows how tough it is to make it through the day. Anger can shatter homes and destroy lives.


Remember the student who picked up his gun and took shots at his classmates. Do you recall the husband who burnt his wife and children and then put a bullet through his head? Well, this is anger speaking loud and clear.


Our streets are not safe to walk on partly on account of people who can’t manage their anger issues. If we find ourselves losing our cool at the drop of a hat, we need to ask questions and we need to ask them now.


Here are some Frequently Asked Questions about Anger:


Why do we feel angry? Experts suggest that we get angry because we feel threatened. The threat may be real or imagined. Anger is very often a direct result of other emotions that we experience like depression, fear, guilt and embarrassment. Suppressing emotions can also lead to frustration and anger. Something we perceive as being unfair can trigger feelings of rage and fury.


Is it normal to get angry? We’re human. Getting angry at some point of time or the other is inevitable. Denying anger is only going to make matters worse. What counts is not whether we get angry or not but how we respond when angry. However, if you find yourself in a perpetual state of rage, there’s probably a deep rooted issue that needs urgent attention.


Is it okay to vent my anger on someone or something when angry? This is a tricky question. Some experts say that venting your anger releases pent-up emotions and cools you down quicker. However, others argue that venting your anger on something or someone is dangerous and only serves to make you think about it frequently. Besides, breathing fire down somebody else’s neck could be nerve-racking for them. If you experience mild to moderate anger issues this may be a good option. However, if you have a severe anger management issue, avoid venting your temper on anything or anybody around you.


Is it okay to display my anger when I find something to be unjust? Standing up for your rights is not a bad thing. But you should attempt to do it in a positive manner rather than being offensive or stooping too low. Assertive communication helps in expressing feelings positively and stating needs. Being too aggressive only infuriates those around you and blows the situation out of proportion. 


What can I do to minimize the anger I’m experiencing? Deep breathing for a couple of minutes or more is supposed to be the ultimate anger antidote. Try counting to ten, twenty or even hundred if you feel like you’re losing control. Focusing on things other than the predicament you’re in takes your mind off the problem. Yoga and aerobics helps to an extent. Expressing feelings in an assertive manner is a good idea.


Can developing Emotional Intelligence help in curbing anger?

Emotional intelligence involves recognizing, understanding and regulating our emotions and those of others. The first step is awareness. When we are angry, all we can think about is the problem. We lose the capacity to think clearly. If we are aware that we are angry we’ll be able to judge the situation carefully and manage our reaction to it. Emotional intelligence also implies understanding and empathizing with the emotions of others. If we are able to comprehend what the opposite person is going through, this may soothe our temper to reach an amicable situation.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

 Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

 Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers