Have you ever come face-to-face with an angry boss? If you have, you’re not alone. Bosses are human-beings. Human-beings get angry. Therefore, bosses are bound to get angry at sometime or the other.
The boss-employee relationship is one of its kind. One day he praises you to the skies. The next day he can’t stand the sight of you.
Some bosses are chronically angry. Even when everything is under control, they find something to make your life miserable. These people are beset with anger management issues or just want to exert power and authority over you. This kind of a boss can make life very unpleasant for you at the workplace.
Even the most reasonable bosses sometimes flare up when deadlines are not met or things don’t work as scheduled. What do you do then? Do you fume and fret, act meek and humble or do you just quit your job?
Facing an angry boss is not the easiest thing in the world. But it’s something that has to be done if you want to keep your job and survive at the workplace. When your boss yells at you, no matter how agitated you are, yelling back at him is simply not an option. Listen to what he has to say. Active listening is necessary for you to understand what got him worked up in the first place. No matter how sharp the urge is, don’t interrupt when he’s speaking. When he’s on a roll, interrupting him will only infuriate him further. Speak in a calm clear voice and justify your case if at all justifications are necessary. If the fault lies with you, immediately apologize and promise to get things back in control. Sorry is a simple word. But saying it at the right time makes all the difference in the world. If you’ve been held responsible for something that has nothing to do with you, state your case calmly and firmly. Being overly humble only indicates fear and a manipulative boss can use that knowledge to put you down on another occasion. It’s not necessary to agree with everything a boss says when angry. If you do that you lose his respect. Instead, concentrate on finding a resolution for the cause of his anger.
Assertive Communication for Angry Bosses and Employees who face them: Both bosses and employees need to make use of assertive communication when angry. Many people confuse assertiveness with aggression. There is a vast difference between the two. Assertive communication entails expressing feelings and thoughts in a manner that is respectful yet resolute. Aggressive communication on the other hand involves hostility in trying to get your point across. Passive communicators try to placate the situation by acting meek and humble and not stating needs clearly. Assertive communication involves acknowledging and respecting your feelings as well as the feelings of the opposite person. Passivity and aggression are undesirable means of communication as one party wins and the other loses. When each party expresses their views with clarity and respect, resolutions are found and conclusions are drawn. Assertiveness creates a win-win situation all around.
For additional information about effective stress management, anger management, and assertive communication skills, along with tools to increase your emotional intelligence call the Anger Management Institute of Texas 281-477-9105 or visit http://www.ami-tx.com.
Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.
Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.
Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers