Domestic Violence: Can A Wife Be A Victim Of Sexual Abuse?

For years no one ever spoke about sexual abuse in a relationship. What went on between a man and a woman when it came to their sexual habits was between them. Years ago, it was impossible for a woman to actually claim sexual abuse against her husband. Today, however, sexual abuse is recognized as a form of battering. Most of the time, sexual abuse will go hand in hand with other forms of abuse such as physical violence, emotional abuse, verbal abuse and even spiritual abuse.

The problem with sexual abuse is that most women will not come forward and discuss this subject because of the basic stigma connected to the sexual nature of the crime. Women need to be aware that sexual abuse, even by their own husband, is indeed a crime. Men also need to be aware that this is a form of domestic violence and that the behavior does not conform with society. Men who are physically abusive to their wives are often sexually abusive as well, although again, this aspect of the crime of abuse is often not discussed.

Sexual abuse can take many different forms. Like all other forms of abuse, the basic component of the abuse is control. The desire for the one partner to control the other is key. In the case of sexual abuse, the perpetrator uses sex to control the victim. This can be done by coercing the victim to performing acts that they do not want to do to rape. Any time someone has sex with another person without their consent, this is considered to be rape, thus sexual abuse. However, most women will not report this type of behavior by their own husbands, even if it is repeated, because of the sexual stigma.

The more people are aware of sexual abuse between a husband and wife being a crime, the more help that can be given to the victims as well as the perpetrators. Men who feel that this behavior is acceptable should be entered into a battering intervention and prevention program (BIPP) so that they can understand the impact of what they are doing and stop their behavior. Many men, because of the way they were raised as well as the way that they view society, do not feel that they are doing anything wrong by forcing sex on their wives. However, the more men understand that this is a crime, the more they can get proper intervention and learn to modify their behavior. Women who are the victims of sexual abuse, even by their own husbands, suffer the same as those who are the victims of sexual abuse by strangers. They feel fear, a lack of control over their bodies and a sense of shame that this is somehow their fault.

Domestic Violence Institute of Texas offers Battering Intervention and Prevention Program – BIPP Classes in Houston, Texas.

For additional information please call 281-970-6611 or visit our website www.dvi-tx.com.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
http://www.dvi-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.com

What Are The Laws Concerning Domestic Violence?

Years ago, there were no laws that regulated domestic violence. A mans home was considered to be his castle and what he did inside that home, regardless of whether he beat his wife or kids, was his own affair. Women who sought help for spousal abuse were often told by community members and even church clergy to endure a beating and were often blamed themselves for having brought the domestic violence on themselves. Those who did concede that this behavior was inappropriate would often blame alcohol abuse for the problem.

Today, there are laws in every state that affect how domestic violence is handled. They vary from county to county, although police officers are required to file a report and make an arrest in the case of any domestic violence action. In many states, there is a cooling off period where batterers are put into jail for twenty four hours, giving others in the home to go to a shelter or another place. The batterers are usually given a certain period of time in which they have to stay away from the victim. A victim can receive counseling and also get a restraining order against those who perpetrate domestic violence against them. Needless to say, the laws against domestic violence have gotten stricter as time has gone on, although many victims drop the charges against the abuser.

In most cases of domestic abuse, the police are called repeatedly to a home because of this problem. They file a report, the batterers go to jail, get out and then the couple reconcile. A wife beater will often blame a problem for their behavior and promise to change. This usually does not work and the violence continues In most cases, domestic abuse will start to escalate as time goes on. It might not only include the spouse but also children as well. When it comes to child abuse, authorities will remove children from any dangerous situation and place them in the care of relatives or with the state. Teachers, scout leaders and others have an obligation to report any signs they see of child abuse to authorities so that it can be investigated.

There are laws today that protect innocent people in a family from batterers. In many states, those who are convicted of domestic battery are ordered to undergo a battering intervention and prevention program that teaches them to modify their behavior so that they do not continue to perpetrate violence. These programs work when the batterers realize that the fault lies within themselves, confront their past as well as their own crime and then learn behavior modification so that they do not resort to abusive behavior in the future.

Domestic Violence Institute of Texas offers Battering Intervention and Prevention Program – BIPP Classes in Houston, Texas.

For additional information please call 281-970-6611 or visit our website http://www.dvi-tx.com.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.dvi-tx.com

Domestic Abuse: Who Is A Wife Beater?

A wife beater is someone to perpetrates violence against their spouse. There is a notion that this type of domestic abuse is relegated to people who are poor, uneducated and perhaps have substance abuse problems. There are television programs that continue to portray the wife beater as almost a stereotype. A man who is on drugs or has been drinking, living in squalor who is beating his wife. What most people do not understand is that domestic violence crosses all levels of society. It does not have a barrier when it comes to social class, religion, color or culture. The well educated doctor can be just as likely to be a wife beater as the uneducated and unemployed alcoholic. The problem is that the wives of those who are prominent members of society are less likely to report the domestic violence.

Because of the stereotype attached not only to the wife beater but also the victim of domestic violence, those who live in upscale communities and consider themselves upstanding citizens in their neighborhood, church or social arena are more likely to keep this dirty little secret hidden. However, there are numerous examples of wife beaters who have been well educated, wealthy and prominent members of society.

One such instance is the case of Dianne Masters who was married to a prominent Chicago attorney. Despite years of domestic violence against her by her husband, a lawyer who was also a wife beater, the crime went unreported. Ironically, Mrs. Masters was largely responsible for creating a shelter and battering intervention program in Chicago in which she was active until her death. At the hands of her husband, Alan Masters. No one but her closest friends suspected that she, herself, was a victim of a wife beater who ultimately ended her life when she tried to get out of their marriage.

Losing the stereotype of the wife beater is one of the key elements when it comes to creating a battering intervention and prevention program such as BIPP. Those who are victims of this type of violence should not be afraid to come forward for fear they will be shunned by society and seek the help that they need. Those who are perpetrators of this type of crime need to come to terms with the fact that what they are doing is wrong, that the violence is a form of control that must be stopped and not feel as if they are above the law simply because they, themselves, do not feel that they fit the stereotype of a wife beater. A wife beater is anyone who uses physical violence against their wife in order to maintain control in their household. It is an unacceptable form of violent behavior and crosses all lines of society. Those who accept their behavior as wrong are the ones who can benefit from intervention programs

Domestic Violence Institute of Texas offers Battering Intervention and Prevention Program – BIPP Classes in Houston, Texas.

For additional information please call 281-970-6611 or visit our website www.dvi-tx.com.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
http://www.dvi-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.com

Domestic Violence: Why Are Some People More Violent?

Scientists have been looking for a violent gene in the makeup of criminals and killers in an effort to prove that some people are inherently more violent than others. As of yet, they have not made any headway in this type of argument. Most violent people have lived a violent past. Most psychologist and doctors agree that violence is not something that someone is born with, but a learned behavior that develops over time.

Some people are more violent, but they are not born that way. Those who are more violent have been taught that violence is an acceptable way to resolve conflict. They were not born violent, but most likely witnessed violence at an early age. They saw their parents fighting and watched how they resolved conflicts. If violence was part of the conflict resolution, then they saw this as appropriate. Children end up learning how to have a relationship from adults and family members around them. If a child grows up in a home where violence is accepted, then they are more likely to be more violent as an adult.

People who are exceptionally violent are usually the victims of violence or abuse at an early age. They have little empathy for their victims and can only think of their own gratification. Serial killers and career criminals fall into this category. Their backgrounds usually detail horrific cases of abuse.

The way to determine if someone is violent is to see how they react to conflict. A spouse abuser will not usually exhibit violence towards the spouse at the early stages of the relationship, until he or she is secure with the relationship. Most wife beaters, for example, will not lay a hand on their wives until after the wedding. Then they let their guard down. The abuse usually starts out small and then escalates.

If someone reacts to conflict with an inappropriate amount of rage or finds it difficult to face the conflict, they can be a violent person. Not all violent people react quickly to conflict. While some will fly off the handle at the slightest provocation, others will hold in the anger until it reaches a boiling point, at which point they lash out. Both aggressive and passive aggressive behavior can often lead to violent behavior, especially if someone grew up in a household where violent behavior was an accepted way of life.

People are not born to be violent. This behavior is taught to them from the time that they are children. Studies indicate that violent people can learn, with proper therapy, to unlearn their violent behavior and live a non-violent life.

Domestic Violence Institute of Texas offers Battering Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP) Classes in Houston, Texas.

For additional information please call 281-970-6611 or visit our website www.dvi-tx.com.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
http://www.dvi-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com

Domestic Violence & Abuse: What Is Abuse?

Many people think that domestic abuse is strictly between a husband and wife or two people who are co-habiting with one another. This is not the case when it comes to domestic abuse. By most laws, anyone who is in a relationship, regardless of whether they are living together or not, can be a perpetrator or victim of this crime.

Another assumption people make about domestic abuse is that it is between adults only. The stereotype of the typical wife beater is an example. A man who comes home and hits his wife is usually termed a wife beater. When people think about domestic abuse, they often envision this type of scenario. Very often, domestic abuse encompasses the entire family. This often includes child abuse where one or both of the parents also take out their rage on the children who become victims of this crime. There are cases where both partners abuse the children or where one of the partners inflicts child abuse.

Domestic abuse does not always take the form of physical abuse. It is important for people to realize that abuse takes many forms and is not always domestic violence. Emotional abuse, sexual abuse and verbal abuse are also part of this type of behavior. This type of abuse is also often inflicted on children in a relationship in which one or both of the partners are abusive.

All forms of domestic abuse is considered to be a crime. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging to the victim as physical abuse, but often goes unreported. This is particularly true in the case where this type of domestic abuse is perpetrated against children. Sexual abuse is often stigmatized by abuse against children, although this form of abuse is often perpetrated by one adult against another in a relationship.

According to statistics, most of those who are arrested for domestic abuse are men. The most common form of domestic abuse is domestic violence by a boyfriend or husband against a woman. Second comes child abuse, again most often perpetrated by men against children in a relationship, most often not their own biological children. Sexual abuse is third and again is a crime in which the perpetrators are overwhelmingly male. These statistics are based upon reports. However, it is also true that most cases of domestic abuse or violence against a man from a female partner go unreported as men are less likely to report these instances to the police.

There is help for those who are perpetrators of domestic abuse. The help comes from a prevention program that deals with abusive behavior. Most people who are abusive have grown up with this type of behavior in which they, themselves, where victims of domestic abuse as children and simply are continuing a cycle that will be passed on to their own children. With a proper battering intervention program, however, this violent and abusive cycle can be broken.

Domestic Violence Institute of Texas offers Battering Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP) Classes in Houston, Texas.

For additional information please call 281-970-6611 or visit our website www.dvi-tx.com.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
http://ami-tx.com