Battering Intervention and Prevention Program: Letter from a Batterer

Providing Battering Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP) education services to male batterers is no small task, especially dealing with the minimizing, denying, blaming, faulty core values, and male privilege beliefs on a weekly basis.

Domestic Violence Institute of Texas’ BIPP program customarily provide students an opportunity to share their experience, good or bad, at the end of the 18 week class; some express their joy that the class is over, some who wish to say nothing, and there are those who wish to write and read poems and letters.

Below is a sample of one such revelation:

Mr. Kyles,

In my life I’ve been threw almost everything, and threw it all I’ve found myself asking how did I ever get here. Like the day I first stepped foot into your class. I knew deep inside my heart I needed to be here. But like most of us tried to find ways to maybe feel like we didn’t belong. As I attended more classes I found myself looking forward in to meeting up with all the guys to learn more on how I can better myself. But most of all I’ve learned to accept what I’ve done.

I’ve sat here in this very class for quite sometime now, and I’ve listened to each and every one of us talk about the situations that were all in. Yes, I do know sometimes it seems unfair. So I decided to listen with not only my ears but what we all mostly forget to do from time to time……and that is listen with our hearts.

I cant change the past, nor can I take away all the pain and hurt I’ve caused along the way, but what I do know is I can change how I view things in life now, and strive in every way possible to be a better person for the ones I love.

Mr. Kyles, you present this class in a way that can turn a person that can be as stern as a mule to a person that is now understanding and loving, that alone is a gift in its Self. I’m blessed to be a part of your program. I only wish I could of ran into you long before my troubles. Maybe one day this class will be prerequisite for young men and women around the world.

So for my Family and to all of the families that are involved in this program, I pray for us that we never loose track of the ones we love!

For those of us that wonder if our prayers ever get answered. My answer to you is ……”YES!” just this morning I looked into my daughters and my fiancés eyes and saw a reflection of the man that is going to love them and BE THERE for them for as long as God wants….that reflection of a man was ME.

Our answers have always been there deep within us all. We just need to learn to listen with our hearts.

Thank you for a lesson in life,
Tony A.

Gregory A. Kyles, LPC
Program Director
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute of Texas

Anger Management Classes: Managing Anger with Stress Management

Anger is an emotion that can be both destructive and enlightening. It is one of many emotions we use when we have to express ourselves, and our state of being. In day-to-day situations we can experience everything from mild irritation to a totally rage filled episode. When we are feeling that our anger is uncontrollable, it is time to find ways to manage it more effectively.

Anger is a part of everyday life for many people. It is a complex emotion and it often stems from other feelings and tends to control our lives. The other side of anger is fear and most often when someone is acting out they are afraid of something.

When someone is in a state of fear his or her anger can show as a slow burning situation or the person may react quickly. They may scream and yell or they may just sit and stew. Depending on their personality, they may also show inattention to what is going on or start interrupting other people to get their point across.

In the workplace this can be a very difficult situation because there are so many issues at stake. Some people have lost their jobs because of their attempts at manipulation or their controlling attitude. Anger is a detriment to the workplace and no one likes to hire an angry employee. This is an emotion that must be under control or there will be consequences.

So what can you do to put your anger under control? That is a very good question and it has a variety of different answers. There are many techniques that you can use but the first step is to admit that you are angry. Once you let yourself know this you can start looking at the things that trigger your anger. Do you have mild irritations that go away or are there situations or circumstances that trigger your anger all the time? Some experts suggest keeping an anger journal to see what kinds of things make you angry. This way you can observe any patterns that may be involved.

When you are observing your anger objectively, it’s a good idea not to judge yourself or the other person involved with your anger. It is best to look at what has been controlling you and find ways to work more effectively.

How to Manage Anger with Stress Management: Most of the time stress leads to frustration and frustration leads to anger. Many people find that when their stress level goes down they experience less anger. When you find yourself getting angry take a long walk or do some other type of exercise. This can get you thinking more about your workout instead of your problems and it is a good way to relax. Some people listen to music to relax and others just take a few deep breaths. The bottom line is to make sure you do something to release the anger in a positive way so it can’t control you anymore.

For additional information about anger management, stress management, assertive communication, and emotional intelligence skills please contact the Anger Management Institute of Texas 713-477-9105 or visit our website

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a Certified Anderson & Anderson® Provider

Anger Management Classes and Executive Coaching Services available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, LPC
Program Director
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute of Texas