What Are The Early Signs Of A Batterer?

Domestic violence is all about control over another person.  Young men and women can learn to recognize the early signs of a batterer by the way that the man behaves.  There can also be clues in the past of the batterer that indicate whether or not he is likely to become violent towards his wife or children.

For many years, domestic violence would only rear its ugly head after a couple was married.  It was at this point when a batterer would have control over his wife and would start to exhibit this control.  It might start out small with verbal abuse and then escalate to physical violence that included sexual abuse.  In almost all case, a person will continue to commit the crime of domestic violence unless they receive the proper counseling that teaches them different behavior patterns.

Today, however, there is an increase over younger people being subjected to dating violence.  Dating violence is on the rise in high schools and even grammar schools.  Again, this usually starts with verbal abuse and then escalates to violence.  Parents should be aware of the aspect of dating violence in society so that they can spot the signs.

Early signs of someone who will be a batterer is the desire for control.  They will want to control the other person as much as possible and will usually want to spend as much time with them as possible.  Incessant telephone calls, a constant need to know where a person is all of the time can seem flattering at first for the person who is soon to be the victim of someone who is extremely controlling.  The behavior starts to affect their lives to the point where they are cutting themselves off of friends.   The typical batterer will use isolation as a form of control as well, cutting the victim off from family and friends who he sees as being interfering.

A batterer will usually choose someone who is easy to manipulate and control.  Violence at first is usually followed by an apology or even gifts with a promise never to do this again.  When the violence occurs the second time, it is usually more intense.  It continues to escalate.

Women who are dating men who are very controlling might at first find the constant attention paid to them by these men flattering at first.  However, a need to control someone else as well as their environment is an early warning sign of someone with the potential of being a batterer,  often verbal abuse and emotional abuse will take place prior to actual violence.  Once the line of violence is crossed, however, it will continue to grow until the relationship is ends.  Those who feel the need to control another individual should seek help with a battering intervention and prevention program before violence begins.

For Anger Management Classes and Battering Intervention and Prevention Program – BIPP Classes in Houston, TX call 281-477-9105 and/or send an email to gregory@emote-institute.com.

Gregory Kyles, LPC
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute

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