Anger Management and Self-Control

Greater self-control is the ultimate goal of anger management classes.  Gaining self-control reduces anger levels, stress levels and the negative consequences of problematic anger and related behaviors.   Working with the concept of emotional intelligence, anger management classes will teach skills and techniques that increase self-control.

Self-control can be learned.  Building skills that enhance the awareness of emotional information in one’s self and others is a basic building block of emotional intelligence and self-control.  These skills increase the ability to be self-aware, or aware of one’s own stress levels and emotions, bodily cues that accompany stress and emotions and a wider range of options for dealing with all these.
By increasing emotional intelligence you become better equipped to recognize, understand and manage all feelings as well as the stress of daily living.  Anger becomes just one of many feelings that an increased self-awareness makes more manageable.

Self-awareness helps you become more able to monitor feelings as they occur.  Monitoring allows you to break emotional responses down to more manageable parts so that greater and more frequent control is possible.  Consequently, judgment and decision-making in daily life can be more consistent and improved overall.  Such improved coping creates a greater sense of well-being.  Improved coping in everyday life is also a product of increased self-control.

Although anger often seems to be sudden and out of conscious control, anger is the result of a series of judgments and decisions about self, others and the world.  Similarly, angry behaviors are the result of judgments and decisions as well.  By learning to monitor one’s self throughout the day, judgment and decision-making become more conscious and effective.  Coping skills in all daily functioning are enhanced by better judgment in interactions and the ability to make better decisions about how to communicate and problem-solve with others.

People who have anger management problems demonstrate poor social coping skills, ineffective stress management skills, poor self-monitoring abilities and limited self-awareness.  These deficits decrease self-control and can lead to many negative consequences.  On the other hand, working to learn and improve these is essential to  controlling problematic anger and to increasing one’s emotional intelligence.

Problematic anger can be reduced.  The skills necessary to bring problematic anger under control are available in anger management classes.  Working to increase the essential elements of self-control needed, anger management classes build skills in a manageable, step-by-step way.  Greater self-control is the ultimate goal of anger management.  It is teachable, learnable and do-able!

For Anger Management Classes and Battering Intervention and Prevention Program – BIPP Classes in Houston, TX call 281-477-9105 and/or send an email to

Gregory Kyles, LPC
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute

What Is Emotional Abuse – The Effects Of Abuse

Mention abuse or abusive behavior to most people and they will automatically think about violence, such as wife beater crime that they see on television.  They will conjure up an image in their head of a man who beats his wife and possibly his children being led away by the police in handcuffs.  However, domestic abuse takes many forms, including emotional abuse which can be just as damaging and leave the same scars on the victims.

Emotional abuse can take many forms.  Both men and women are equally liable for emotional abuse in a relationship.  In most cases, this form of abuse is not relegated strictly between the spouses in a family situation, but also on children.  Emotional abuse differs from verbal abuse as it is more subtle.  Where we may see verbal abuse as name calling and loud tirades of screaming, emotional abuse can be something as subtle as constantly putting someone down for any efforts that they make.

Anyone can be a victim of emotional abuse.  The tricky thing about this form of abuse is that technically it is not a crime.  While batterers will face a criminal charge for attacking others with violence, emotional abuse is something that usually occurs for the length of the relationship.  Emotional abuse from a parent to a child can even follow them into adulthood.

One form of emotional abuse that is not often discussed is a parent who continually looks for shortcomings in their child.  A child may strive desperately to please their parent or parents in their endeavors, only to be cut to the quick when the parent rejects their efforts.  Those who perpetrate emotional abuse usually have a very low self esteem and are people who although may appear congenial to others, are difficult to please by those around them.  A child who grows up with emotional abuse will typically have a very low self esteem that will make them act out in various ways.  They may seek to gain emotional fulfillment by looking for it through others, often not in healthy ways.

Abuse is all about control.  This goes for sexual abuse, violence, spiritual abuse as well as emotional abuse.  Those who perpetrate any form of abuse are usually seeking to control another person through their behavior.  Some of the abusive behavior is evident and can be spotted and even prosecuted as a crime.  However, in the case of emotional abuse, the crime is hidden.  Many children who are the victims of emotional abuse by their parents never even realize the extent of the abuse until long into adulthood .  In many cases, children who are victims of emotional abuse will perpetrate the same abuse onto their own children, often without even realizing that they are doing this.

For Anger Management & Domestic Violence (BIPP) Classes in Houston, TX call 281-477-9105 and/or send an email to

Gregory Kyles, LPC
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute


Problems Associated with Anger: Anger Management Classes

If anger becomes an emotion that occurs too often, is felt too intensely or causes some inappropriate behavior (verbal, physical), then anger is a problem.  Additionally, problematic anger can have a great deal of impact upon health and physical well-being.

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Anger naturally causes a rise in heart rate and blood pressure, even when anger problems are not present, however, individuals who have chronic anger, or recurring intense anger in episodes, can have high pulse rates and high blood pressure frequently and for prolonged periods.  This can result in serious medical issues such as hypertension and heart disease. 

Furthermore, escalated levels of strain upon the body such as those that occur in problematic anger can, over the long run, create other multiple physical problems that are experienced as intense bodily discomfort daily.  Some of the physical consequences of chronic anger must be managed medically to prevent, for example, the extreme problems associated with heart disease and hypertension. 

Also, ulcers, other digestive problems, headaches and chronic muscle tension throughout the body are common for people with anger management problems.  Some people with chronic and problematic anger will have a lowered resistance to infection as chronic stress wears down the immune system.  Complications of ‘adrenalin dumping’ (anger creates surges of adrenalin that ready the body for fight and survival mode) can seriously affect the nervous system and lead to other debilitating conditions.  It is not uncommon for individuals with anger management problems to have a variety of physical problems that, in themselves, can wear down the ability to use appropriate coping skills.

While anger problems will naturally have negative consequences upon others as the individual interacts in problematic ways, the biology of anger is often a silent and accumulating, serious issue for those with anger management problems.  Often the other negative consequences of problematic anger (social, legal, occupational) are much more apparent and the physical issues—many of which can be serious—are discovered much later.  Anger management Classes can be a significant investment in one’s own health and well-being. 

For additional information about anger management services please call 281-477-9105 or visit

Anger Management Classes in Houston, TX

Gregory A. Kyles, LPC, CEAP, PHR, CAMF
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute of Texas

Need Help With Your Anger?

When was the last time you felt really angry? Has it been a month, week, a day, yesterday, an hour ago or do you just feel angry all the time?


Anger is not tangible. It’s not something you can get hold of with your bare hands and toss away. Anger may be a symptom of stress, depression, childhood memories or feelings of low self-esteem. Some people actually take a perverse pleasure in anger because possibly it’s the only time they feel in control of the situation. Anger gives them a high and a sensation of power especially when people are terrified of their tempers.


Anger is not confined to a particular type of person. Everybody gets angry at sometime or the other. However, the responses and reactions to anger vary from person to person. Why is it that some people rave and rant when angry and others are able to maintain some semblance of composure even if boiling inside? Well, a lot of it depends on our family background, the company we keep and our ability to adjust to everyday stress and pressures. If we come from a household where people scream and yell to make a point, it’s quite possible we’ll end up doing the same if faced with a difficult situation. This is because we subconsciously pick up behavioral patterns and traits from our immediate surroundings. 


Impulsive people are more prone to expressing anger rather violently. They act before they think and repent in leisure. Have you ever had a boss who flings files when he’s angry? Perhaps, you’re one of those employees who everybody avoids because your temper scares the living daylights out of them. Does your partner leave town each time you show signs of throwing a fit? If you find yourself flying off the handle at the least sign of provocation, you might want to consider getting help with anger.


Help With Anger: If you want to quit interrupting your progress at work and at the domestic front because of bouts of rage, seek help with anger. Anger destroys and devastates. People have recognized the need to start anger management programs to deal with anger related issues. Numerous local social and volunteer groups have begun these programs. They are conducted in groups or on a one-to-one basis. Group therapy involves people facing similar issues expressing feelings, thoughts and experiences. Hypnosis is also advocated by many therapists as a means to control anger. If you don’t want to seek help with your local groups, going online is also a solution. Several online anger management courses are available if you’re not comfortable speaking to people about your issues. Yoga is also a great way to de-stress and unwind as it follows the principles of calm and composure in adverse circumstances. Reading self-help books covering anger related behavioral issues can help to an extent.


Help with Anger through Stress Management: There is no escape from stress. However, we can’t let stress build up to a point that anger or even rage takes over. Stress management is closely related to anger management. If you can learn to manage stress effectively, anger related issues get resolved automatically. Stress can be managed effectively through a combination of techniques like laughter therapy, meditation, listening to soothing music, watching television and going on a vacation with family and friends. We can certainly minimize what we can’t eliminate altogether. Minimizing stress through successful stress management techniques is a step towards managing and controlling anger.


 Effective stress management skills can be learned in an anger management program, for more information visit


Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.


Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.


Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers


Economic Crises Fuels Stress and Anger

One of the unfortunate consequences of the tragedy of 9/11 was a nationwide increase in the incidence of anger, stress, PTSD, depression, anxiety and substance abuse. Research conducted by the Rand Corporation and the Neuropsychiatric Institute at UCLA Medical Center indicated that the impact of this disaster on vulnerable persons was the same, independent of the proximity to New York or Washington, D.C.

The current worldwide economic crisis is having the same impact as 9/11. Mental health providers, certified anger management providers and family medicine practitioners in the U.S., Canada and Europe are reporting an increase in all of the disorders mentioned above.

Stress is so widespread that even clergy and the faith based community is opting to have select members of their congregations trained and certified in anger management, stress, management, communication and emotional intelligence.

The San Francisco the Pubic Defender, Jeff Adachi, has concluded that the role of the public defender should also include violence prevention and anger management for at-risk youth.

Stress is a common system that serves to create or exacerbate Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, anger, anxiety, depression and substance abuse.

Unlike anxiety, depression, substance abuse and PTSD, anger is not a mental or emotional disorder and is not responsive to counseling, psychotherapy or psychotropic medication. In fact, the American Psychiatric Association maintain that unhealthy anger is a lifestyle issue and therefore not a subject of interest to the APA.

The most appropriate intervention for problem anger, stress, aggressive communication and rage is anger management. Certified Anger Management Facilitators are trained to provide non-psychiatric assessments designed to determine a clients’ level of functioning in recognizing and managing anger, recognizing and managing stress, styles of communication and emotional intelligence. Following the assessment, the client is given a workbook and skill enhancement assignment in all of the areas mentioned above.

For a list of Certified Anger Management Facilitators, click here.

By George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a Certified Anderson & Anderson® Provider

Anger Management Classes and Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.
Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers

Learn to Manage Your Anger

Feelings and emotions just happen to us. We cannot rid ourselves of them. All we can do is control the way they influence our lives. The same rule applies to anger. We cannot wish it away but we can manage the way it powers our lives and those around us.


Anger ranges from anything between a mild irritation to a full blown temper tantrum. When we are angry we experience a rush of adrenaline to our veins. Certain people also experience a tightening of the jaw, gnashing of teeth and clenching of fists. These are some of our physical responses to anger. Anger, like any other emotion is neither good nor bad. It’s just there and it’s something we need to deal with. The problem occurs when we find it difficult or impossible to manage or regulate our anger.


Being cool and calm when faced with a storm is imperative especially at the workplace. The equations at an office change daily. One day sees you as the blue eyed boy at work. The next day you may be pulled up for something that isn’t your fault. Everyday brings in its wake new challenges and struggles. We get angry because we decide that certain things are unfair. But then not everything in life is fair.


Managing anger is an indicator of your ability to deal with stress and pressure. Employees have lost promotions because they failed to deal with a crisis in a dignified manner. Managers who fly off the handle when faced with a calamity fail to retain their staff. Nobody likes to work in an organization where tempers are on a short fuse and everybody’s screaming all the time. Marriages disintegrate because of anger issues. Domestic violence is on the rise thanks to this most primitive of all human emotions. 


Managing Anger: Desperate situations call for desperate measures. If you find yourself raising your hand each time you feel angry you need to seek help. Now!!!


Managing anger is crucial for your mental and physical well-being. Many experts say that the first step to managing anger is recognizing it as it occurs. When we are angry we need to acknowledge it. Next, we need to understand why we are angry. Is it something that we can control? Has something fallen short of our expectations? Do we feel that something is unfair? Once you take the time to understand the reason for your anger you will be able to see things in a new light. Then all you need to do is to shift the focus away from your anger and concentrate on finding a solution to the problem. By the time you’ve done this you’ll find your anger fading away. What’s more you can give yourself brownie points for tackling the situation without bursting at the seams.


Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, yoga and meditation have been advocated by many researchers to manage anger. Enrolling in an anger management class is also an option for those who experience violent fits of rage. Expressing feelings and stating needs are good exercises to release pent-up frustrations.


Managing Anger through Assertive Communication: Assertive communication involves sticking to your convictions while communicating without being offensive. When we are angry we say things that we wouldn’t have said otherwise. Many of these things hurt the people who are close to us. You have to learn to convey thoughts without appearing rude and opinionated. Being angry does not give us the right to fire expletives and attack the opposite person. An aggressive communicator will create arguments rather than find solutions. Passive communicators fail to stand up for themselves and come across as weak and timid. An assertive communicator on the other hand will not let himself be bullied nor will bully someone else. Assertiveness is the key to expressing anger in an effective manner. Hence, managing anger through assertive communication has become the need of the hour. 


 Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.


Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.


Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers

Assertive Communication Tips for Those Who Manage Others

  1. Be Civil: Speak honestly without meanness, viciousness or attack.
  2. Be empathetic and positive: Emphasize outcome and solutions. Choose your words to elevate and  empower your employees. Examine problems and hold your employers and yourself accountable, not  for blame, but for finding solutions.
  3. Speak clearly: Be straightforward, direct, and open.
  4. Listen carefully: Listen to others more than you speak. Listen as though you will be tested on understanding their words.
  5. Be honest: Speak with precision, exactness, and adherence to facts. Be balanced in your use of facts. Observe contextual correctness. Be informative and substantive.
  6. Keep and maintain awareness of the following perspectives: yours, theirs, and that of a neutral party.

The above skills can be practiced and enhanced over time, and they will increase the participants’ overall emotional intelligence while reducing the potential for conflict.

By George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF, CEAP

 “Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson provider.”

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers