Aggression, Anger Management and Domestic Violence

Aggression is a behavior that harms, or seeks to harm, someone. It also is behavior that does or attempts to do property damage. Aggression includes mental, emotional and psychological abuse as well as violence such as physical assault, vandalism and other destruction of property (even one’s own). Other aggression can also be reckless and endangering behaviors such as driving recklessly, the reckless handling of firearms or other behavior that could potentially harm another person or property. Reckless and endangering behavior conveys a strong message that the safety of others (and their property) is not important. Furthermore, reckless and endangering behaviors ‘say’ that if others are harmed or there is property loss that is not important. Verbal abuse—the use of words to coerce, threaten, intimidate or humiliate another person, is also considered to be aggressive behavior.

Stalking through physical presence or by technological means such as phone calls, text messaging, and emails is also aggressive behavior.
It is a myth that anger leads to aggression or that aggression is a natural expression of anger. Many erroneously believe that the emotion of anger will, over time, build to the point that anger will be expressed through aggression. There are some individuals who go very quickly and habitually to aggressive behavior whenever the emotion of anger is felt and for these people, aggression naturally flows from their experience of the emotion anger. Many individuals with anger management problems never use aggression but benefit significantly from the skills and techniques taught in anger management classes. Anger without physical aggression is still an anger management problem.

Another form of aggression is used by individuals who engage in intimate partner abuse. This type of aggression stems from a choice to exert dominance over the intimate partner. In these situations aggression can be done without the buildup of emotion as is seen in people with anger management problems. Although a batterer of intimate partners, if observed during aggression, may use the same behaviors as those who express anger through aggression, battering is not typically an issue of anger management.

Domestic violence has its roots in very different dynamics than does aggression that is the result of unmanaged anger. Very specifically, domestic violence stems from beliefs and attitudes about intimate relationships and the need for dominance, power and control over partners that are considered ‘less than’ the aggressor in worth and status. Management of battering requires treatment that is significantly different than treatment for anger management. The issues of interpersonal power and control dynamics within intimate relationships must be addressed and corrected. Anger management, on the other hand, addresses the ineffective and, at times, dangerous mishandling of strong emotion.

People with anger management problems can learn to use techniques that prevent aggression. Anger management involves the controlling of anger escalation so that aggression does not occur in those who escalate emotionally to such behavior. In contrast, domestic violence treatment focuses upon the beliefs and attitudes about intimate relationships and partners that make partner abuse and aggression an option or choice.

Anger Management & Domestic Violence (BIPP) Classes in Houston, TX

Gregory Kyles, LPC, CAMF
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.dvi-tx.com
http://www.emote-institute.com
www.gregorykyles.wordpress.com

How Do I Know if I Need Anger Management Classes?

There are many ways to know if you need an anger management class, but only a few examples are listed here.  If you are not sure if you need an anger management class, consult a professional and get an anger management evaluation.
Some indications that you have an anger management problem are that you are controlling, use intimidation or manipulation, feel chronic hostility, have frequent interpersonal conflicts, or are known by others to be an angry employee, an angry boss or angry spouse.  If you are questioning whether your anger is problematic, the following questions may help you better decide:

Do I use anger in the workplace?
Do I have trouble expressing feelings other than anger?
Do I engage in angry behaviors to the point of harassment or abuse?
Do I confuse assertiveness with anger?
Have I ever thought that I need help to manage my anger?
Have I been told that I use intimidation or manipulation in relationships?
Have I been told that I am controlling?
Do I find myself blowing up in times of stress?
Do I have chronic stress?
Do I do property damage, make threats, get into physical fights, and yell?
Do I find myself focusing on things, situations and people and becoming angry?
Do I find myself interrupting others, becoming impatient, not able to listen?
Do I resist seeking compromise, or coming to an honest compromise, when there is conflict?
Do I have trouble stating my needs and become resentful when others do not meet them?
Do I have effective techniques for stress management?

These are some of the questions that can help you decide if you may need anger management classes.  The professional who will conduct an anger management assessment will ask similar questions to help you determine if anger management classes can decrease your stress, lower anger levels, improve your coping skills in everyday life, improve your relationships, and better equip you to meet your own personal goals. If you have problematic anger, anger management classes will help you in all these areas by increasing your emotional intelligence—your awareness of emotional states, and your knowledge of how to manage them appropriately.  As your emotional intelligence increases through anger management classes, you will find that many, many areas of your life improve.  Anger is a natural emotion, but what we do with anger can make our lives unmanageable and problematic or can create a life in which we are more successful and less stressed.
An anger management assessment will identify your current emotional intelligence—what you know about emotions in yourself and others, how to express emotions appropriately and how to manage them successfully.  Anger management classes will increase emotional intelligence giving you the tools you need to be less stressed, in more satisfying relationships, manage your workplace experience more effectively and, overall, improve your daily coping and performance.

For additional information please visit www.ami-tx.com.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
www.ami-tx.com
www.dvi-tx.com
gregorykyles.wordpress.com
Houston, Texas

BIPP Groups in Houston, Texas

The purpose of the Domestic Violence Institute of Texas’ Battering Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP) is to help male batterers understand their actions and how they alone can control their behavior so that they can live without violence.

Group sessions are held five (5) days a week:

Monday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Tuesday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Wednesday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Thursday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Friday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.

For additional information please call 281-970-6611 or visit our website http://www.dvi-tx.com .

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC
Director, Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
http://www.dvi-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com

Anger Management Classes: Assessments are very important!

Anger is an emotion that we can’t ignore and we can’t get away from because it is with us all the time. We have figured out a way to deal with anger that either works for us or doesn’t but often it’s the way we were raised.

Anger sometimes is controlling and often is hurtful. People have a tendency to lash out instead of coming to terms with what it is that makes them angry. This is where anger assessment comes into play.

Anger in the workplace has become a problem these days. Managers are often working with line workers who get angry when the line isn’t working the way it should. There have been countless accounts on television about people who do disgusting things in their workplace to get back at a boss when they feel they were mistreated. There are also accounts of how workers have destroyed property because they were angry about something that happened at work. Executives aren’t free of anger either though they tend to think they are exempt from it.

In relationships domestic violence occurs because one or more partners are angry with the others. One may try to manipulate the other and there is always controlling and intimidation. This is one of the most difficult places for anger because it escalates to violence.

In this process there is a need for anger assessment so that people can understand their potential for anger. There are a variety of ways to do this and taking anger tests on the Internet are a good way to start this process. Most of the tests will tell you where you are on their particular anger scale and you will generally have a few questions to answer. Some of the formats you will see will include true and false or specific questions. Some of the questions you may see include:

 Are you frequently angry?
 Does your anger last for a long period of time?
 Do you find that the least little thing can set you off?
 Do you find yourself always on the defensive?
 Does your anger control your life?
 Does your anger help you get through the day?
 Do people tell you that you are intense when you are angry?
 Do you become aggressive when angry?

The Internet test will score your answers and let you know where you stand in terms of your level of anger. Keep in mind that these types of tests should be used as preliminary tests unless you get it from counseling or coaching site.

Anger Assessment and Anger Management: When you find yourself getting angry and taking it out on people around you it’s time to seek professional help. There are many counseling and coaching programs that can help you assess where you are and give you techniques to use to help you manage your anger. By understanding how to manage your anger you will become a healthier person and gain more friends.

For more information about obtaining an anger assessment and/or classes please visit Anger Management Institute of Texas’ website www.ami-tx.com or call 281-477-9105.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Houston, Texas

Managing Your Anger using Assertive Communication

When someone says something to you do you instantly fly into a rage? Do you switch into a manipulation mode and try to make things work the way you want them? Do you intimidate people to get what you want? If your answer is yes to any of these questions you should consider that you have an anger management problem.

Anger is a part of everyday life and its something we can’t run away from or avoid. Many times the reason we are having problems is because no one every taught us how to deal with anger. Maybe we saw people in our homes exhibiting a certain behavior when angry and we adopted that some type of behavior.

When you think about it you will probably also notice that you are probably experiencing fear when you first start to feel anger. In fact, fear is often a major cause of anger because both emotions make us feel out of control. When some people feel out of control their first reaction is to lash out.

Employers have begun to look at the area of anger management because they understand that some great employees may have problems getting along with others because they haven’t been taught how to do it. They recommend anger management classes for specific employees and they attempt to help them improve.

Anger can also be destructive and can lead to violence. In order to stop this from happening many people learn what to do to control their impulses and become a more balanced individual. In order to do this some people will need anger management training.

Anger management has two basic goals. First, it is to help you reduce the feelings of anger and secondly it is to help you control the physical feelings you have as you are leading up to an angry episode. When you are exhibiting angry behavior it is more difficult to calm yourself down than if you understand your triggers and stop them before they start. Learning to manage your anger can help you become a stronger employee and open you to opportunities in the workplace.

Anger management is an important part of life in general because it makes you a healthier person. A person who shows anger all the time is also sufferance from avoidance of problems that need to be confronted head on.

Communicate more effective using Assertive Communication: If you are the type of person who doesn’t stand up for yourself and has difficulty interacting with others, you can benefit from learning to be more assertive in your communications. This doesn’t mean becoming aggressive it is the ability to express yourself through your opinions, feelings and attitudes without taking advantage of someone else or without causing anxiety to yourself. Learning to use “I” statements instead of blaming and using facts instead of judgments are two ways that you can learn to communicate more effectively and express your feelings. By doing this you will encourage positive feedback from others around you.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.dvi-tx.com

Anger Management: The Value of Emotional Intelligence

A few years ago Emotional Intelligence came into the mainstream and everyone was learning more about how they handed their emotions. Many businesses use this to help communication between workers and the boss. Understanding your emotional intelligence is an important part of everyday life because it helps you create a more balanced life.

Emotional Intelligence has nothing to do with Intelligent Quotient (IQ). Instead it is about people skills. Specifically it is the ability to recognize, understand and regulate your own emotions and those of others. By being able to make better choices about emotions you can understand how to act or react in any situation. In fact, research has shown that people who are able to manage their own feelings and work more effectively with others are more likely to live happier lives.

In the workplace, Emotional Intelligence has become more important because employers use it as a predictor of which employees will make the best leaders on projects. There are certain assumptions that are made about employees who score high on Emotional Intelligence. For instance, an employer would expect that this employee was able to control their own emotions, understand how to communicate well with others and how to be a strong problem solver. This person may have a great sense of humor and be able to show empathy to other people. All traits that are important in the workplace.

Emotional Intelligence is also important in personal relationships because it helps everyone communicate more effectively. Let’s face it. Emotions are a big part of relationships and they can run rampant if they aren’t controlled. When we understand Emotional Intelligence and how to use it we can strengthen existing relationships and increase our ability to communicate more effectively. It will also help us learn more about ourselves.

Without Emotional Intelligence many relationships break up because the two people (whether friends or married) can’t seem to get past the hurt feelings that accumulate if people don’t understand how to communicate effectively. Emotional Intelligence helps you sort out communication challenges and deal with them straight on. It also helps you improve your people skills and develop a more interesting personality.

Students benefit from Emotional Intelligence because it allows them to focus better on their work, it helps build self confidence and it can create new curiosity. In the workplace, when you are taking courses to improve your job or to apply for a new job, your Emotional Intelligence could lead you to a pay raise.

Emotional Intelligence and Anger Management: The workplace is often an emotional place at times for a lot of reasons. Some businesses make it clear that showing any type of emotion is inappropriate. Some people can become angry and abusive when confronted with certain situations. Without Emotional Intelligence there is a tendency to strike out with fighting or other violence. When Emotional Intelligence is learned it can stop edgy situations from becoming more difficult and it can empower individuals to take control instead of taking revenge.

For additional information about effective stress management, anger management, and assertive communication skills, along with tools to increase your emotional intelligence call the Anger Management Institute of Texas 281-477-9105 or visit http://www.ami-tx.com.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.dvi-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com

Effective Stress Management Skills for the Workplace

The reasons for stress are varied. Some of the common stressors are financial worries, medical issues, work pressures, traffic congestion, child related issues, strained relationships, death of a loved one and loneliness.

Stress affects you both physically and mentally. Headaches, allergies, insomnia, lethargy, hair loss and exhaustion are physical symptoms of stress. Other symptoms of stress include depression, anxiety, frustration, rage and hostility.

Stress is not all bad. Experts suggest that a certain amount of stress is necessary and desirable in our lives to progress and grow. Without the presence of stress, we become complacent and prone to slacking.

Stress at the workplace is a source of much unhappiness and health issues. Stress is pervasive at all levels of the organization. The only difference lies in the ability to manage stress and use it positively. It is noticed that line workers are less capable of controlling stress as compared to higher level executives and managers. Perhaps, this is on account of rigorous training and development given to those in higher positions.

Workplace stress arises from the following factors:

• Unrealistic deadlines and too much of workload
• Regular overtime
• Reporting to more than one boss
• Stagnancy in the job, no growth or promotions
• No increments in salary at regular intervals
• Inattention from supervisors and managers
• Strained relations between co-workers

Even relationships do not escape the onslaught of stress. Lack of communication, health problems, financial worries, infidelity and suspicion are some of the relationship stressors. Many marriages and relationships break up because of uncontrolled stress.
Stress Management is essential if we want to let go of stress and lead productive lives.

Stress Management at the Workplace: The prosperity of an organization depends on its workforce. Therefore, the management should take proper precautions to minimize stress at the workplace.

o Workers should not be burdened with unreasonable workloads and unrealistic deadlines.
o Incentive schemes and perquisites should be provided to reward good performance.
o Yearly appraisals and increments in salary should be made.
o Informal interaction between managers and workers and between peers should be encouraged.
o The job should not be monotonous as monotony kills enthusiasm and excitement.
o Group activities like meetings and discussions help kill the drudgery of life at work.
o Intimidation by supervisors should be replaced with constructive criticism and honest feedback

Stress Management through Assertive Communication:
Assertiveness can be a great stress buster. It is surprising that most of the stress in our lives is caused because of our inability to communicate effectively. People who have conquered the art of assertive communication are less likely to get into arguments thereby reducing stress. Aggression breeds aggression. It puts people on the defensive and makes them less likely to listen to reason. Passivity on the other hand conveys a lack of strength and will power. Assertive communication can help to a large extent in keeping stress at bay. It helps us get what we want without coming across as overbearing and domineering. Assertive Communication helps in keeping stress at arms length by avoiding conflict through reasoning and direct communication.  

For additional information about effective stress management, anger management, and assertive communication skills, along with tools to increase your emotional intelligence call the Anger Management Institute of Texas 281-477-9105 or visit http://www.ami-tx.com.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.org
http://www.dvi-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles

Why are Physicians Angry?

Anger is a normal human emotion experienced by people from all walks of life and all professions. It is primitive and all-pervasive. Nobody can prevent the onslaught of anger. Being in the medical profession is not a ticket to an anger-free life. Physicians experience anger as much as their patients.

It is a long hard road from high school to medical college. This road is paved with pebbles, stones and big fat boulders. Medical school students go through a whole lot of stuff before they become full-fledged practicing physicians. Arduous examinations and demanding internships are just the beginning. Even seasoned physicians experience rage when faced with situations beyond their control.

The medical workplace is charged with injury, disappointment, hope, relief and death. In a place that’s so highly strung with emotions, anger is bound to make an appearance. Normally, physicians work grueling hours at a stretch sometimes without a break. Most of them are on call 24/7. Personal life often takes a backseat. Stress builds up over time and ultimately gives way to anger and hostility.

Physician anger is a product of situations that are beyond their control. At an early stage in their career, physicians are trained to be detached, cool and clinical when it comes to dealing with patients. However, this makes it tough for patients to open up and express feelings. Numerous patients refuse treatment that could save their lives or make things better for them. This refusal stems out of ignorance and fear of the unknown. Physicians experience a sense of frustration when dealing with such patients. To make matters worse, physicians are always under pressure to save lives and mend life-threatening wounds. If things go wrong, irate patients and their families are ever willing to file malpractice suits. Some physicians face life and death situations everyday. In the worst of circumstances emotions are bottled up and kept carefully under wraps. This is bound to have some effect on the psyche of a physician.

Disruptive and disorderly behavior among physicians is becoming a frequent occurrence in medical workplaces. Physicians retaliate in several ways. Inattention to superiors and intimidation of those under their authority may be the early symptoms of anger in physicians. Unprofessional behavior, moodiness and failure to answer to calls may be a few other signals that something is amiss. As soon as these signals are evident, medical directors, partners and other personnel in authority must intervene before things get out-of -hand.       

Dealing with Physician Anger: Physicians are generally resistant to any kind of proposed help and most often will not even be aware that something is wrong. Convincing a physician that all is not well with him requires patience, tact and sensitivity. However, when higher authorities intervene and give honest feedback, most physicians will accept that their behavior is not entirely normal. Once, this is accomplished they should be convinced to seek help through appropriate anger management programs. Medical supervisors and partners should assure the professional full support and co-operation in dealing with anger related issues. If the physician is overly hesitant about seeking help, emphasis should be made on the outcomes of his disruptive actions like loss of medical license and removal from duties. Monitoring the physician’s on-duty behavior by his colleagues is also an option.

Emotional Intelligence for Physician Anger: Physicians are taught to shield themselves against emotions at an early stage in their career. Experts say that this is the root cause for disruptive and abusive behavior among physicians. Pent-up emotions take a toll and result in chronic depression and frustration, in some cases violent outbursts of fury. Emotional Intelligence implies being aware, understanding and controlling your own emotions and those of others. If physicians are encouraged to express feelings and emotions, they’ll be more sensitive while dealing with patients and less prone to fits of anger. Developing emotional intelligence is the need of the hour to minimize physician anger.

Anger Management Institute of Texas’ Executive Coaching Program is utilized by management of accredited hospital/organizations for physicians displaying disruptive behaviors in the workplace.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.dvi-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

Anger Management Skills for the Angry Boss

Have you ever come face-to-face with an angry boss? If you have, you’re not alone. Bosses are human-beings. Human-beings get angry. Therefore, bosses are bound to get angry at sometime or the other.

The boss-employee relationship is one of its kind. One day he praises you to the skies. The next day he can’t stand the sight of you.

Some bosses are chronically angry. Even when everything is under control, they find something to make your life miserable. These people are beset with anger management issues or just want to exert power and authority over you. This kind of a boss can make life very unpleasant for you at the workplace.

Even the most reasonable bosses sometimes flare up when deadlines are not met or things don’t work as scheduled. What do you do then? Do you fume and fret, act meek and humble or do you just quit your job?

Facing an angry boss is not the easiest thing in the world. But it’s something that has to be done if you want to keep your job and survive at the workplace. When your boss yells at you, no matter how agitated you are, yelling back at him is simply not an option. Listen to what he has to say. Active listening is necessary for you to understand what got him worked up in the first place. No matter how sharp the urge is, don’t interrupt when he’s speaking. When he’s on a roll, interrupting him will only infuriate him further. Speak in a calm clear voice and justify your case if at all justifications are necessary. If the fault lies with you, immediately apologize and promise to get things back in control. Sorry is a simple word. But saying it at the right time makes all the difference in the world. If you’ve been held responsible for something that has nothing to do with you, state your case calmly and firmly. Being overly humble only indicates fear and a manipulative boss can use that knowledge to put you down on another occasion. It’s not necessary to agree with everything a boss says when angry. If you do that you lose his respect. Instead, concentrate on finding a resolution for the cause of his anger.

Assertive Communication for Angry Bosses and Employees who face them: Both bosses and employees need to make use of assertive communication when angry. Many people confuse assertiveness with aggression. There is a vast difference between the two. Assertive communication entails expressing feelings and thoughts in a manner that is respectful yet resolute. Aggressive communication on the other hand involves hostility in trying to get your point across. Passive communicators try to placate the situation by acting meek and humble and not stating needs clearly.  Assertive communication involves acknowledging and respecting your feelings as well as the feelings of the opposite person. Passivity and aggression are undesirable means of communication as one party wins and the other loses. When each party expresses their views with clarity and respect, resolutions are found and conclusions are drawn. Assertiveness creates a win-win situation all around.

For additional information about effective stress management, anger management, and assertive communication skills, along with tools to increase your emotional intelligence call the Anger Management Institute of Texas 281-477-9105 or visit http://www.ami-tx.com.
Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.dvi-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

Anger Management for Angry Spouses

Marriages are meant to last a lifetime. Unfortunately, they come to a premature end thanks to spouses who have no control over their tempers. What do you do when you are stuck with an angry spouse? Do you retaliate with anger, do you back down or do you get out of the marriage? It’s not easy to come to a conclusion. Even in an abusive relationship numerous things have to be considered before the victim decides to bow out like children, finances, support, shelter and the like. Moreover, it is difficult to forget years of birthdays, festivals and anniversaries celebrated in good times.

Abusive behavior begins when a couple fails to find a solution to a problem. One could be trying to impose his will on the other. When the other resists it leads to quarrels followed by abuse and domestic violence. Some of the reasons why spouses get angry are health issues, financial worries, infidelity, trust issues, work pressure, jealousy, unemployment and fear.

An angry spouse may react in several ways. In every situation he/she may not get violent. Violence is only one nuance of angry spouse behavior. Verbal abuse is often resorted to by spouses who deem it to be the lesser of the two evils. Verbal abuse may not physically damage a partner but it leaves deep emotional scars that dent the marriage. An angry spouse will not always express his anger. In many cases, he/she will refuse to communicate with the other partner and give him the silent treatment for days. The breakdown in communication coupled with pent-up rage can fling a marriage on the rocks. 

Dealing with an Angry Spouse: Dealing with an angry spouse can be terribly nerve-racking and exhausting. Ultimately, you may end up feeling angry yourself. The first step is to determine if the anger is justified, moderate or excessive. Both the partners should examine their anger and encourage expressing feelings and frustrations in a positive and relaxed manner. Past blunders and gaffes should not be resurrected.

Everybody wants to be heard. Many marriages fail because partners do not listen. Communication includes listening, thinking and reacting. If we fail to listen, how can we act? Active listening is a must to figure out what’s troubling your spouse.

If things get too heated up, it is better to take a break and do something other than think about the situation at hand. Once the spouses are in a better frame of mind they can sit and discuss things rationally.

There are times when both spouses are fuming with anger. This is accompanied by heaping insults and abuses on the other. If both spouses are angry, the best thing to do in such a situation would be for one of the spouses to walk away and come back at a better time.

Value of Emotional Intelligence for the Angry Spouse: Emotional intelligence implies recognizing, understanding and regulating one’s own feelings and those of others. It involves not only coming to terms with your own feelings but also empathizing with the emotions of others. In successful marriages, one or both partners exhibit a high level of emotional intelligence. If we are in control of our emotions we can express our frustrations, fears, anxieties and anger in a way that does not cause the other to freak out. In the same vein, when faced with an angry spouse we are able to better understand what their going through and use this knowledge to seek a compromise.

For additional information about effective stress management, anger management, and assertive communication skills, along with tools to increase your emotional intelligence call the Anger Management Institute of Texas 281-477-9105 or visit http://www.ami-tx.com.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.org
http://www.dvi-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert
Houston, Texas