Aggression, Anger Management and Domestic Violence

Aggression is a behavior that harms, or seeks to harm, someone. It also is behavior that does or attempts to do property damage. Aggression includes mental, emotional and psychological abuse as well as violence such as physical assault, vandalism and other destruction of property (even one’s own). Other aggression can also be reckless and endangering behaviors such as driving recklessly, the reckless handling of firearms or other behavior that could potentially harm another person or property. Reckless and endangering behavior conveys a strong message that the safety of others (and their property) is not important. Furthermore, reckless and endangering behaviors ‘say’ that if others are harmed or there is property loss that is not important. Verbal abuse—the use of words to coerce, threaten, intimidate or humiliate another person, is also considered to be aggressive behavior.

Stalking through physical presence or by technological means such as phone calls, text messaging, and emails is also aggressive behavior.
It is a myth that anger leads to aggression or that aggression is a natural expression of anger. Many erroneously believe that the emotion of anger will, over time, build to the point that anger will be expressed through aggression. There are some individuals who go very quickly and habitually to aggressive behavior whenever the emotion of anger is felt and for these people, aggression naturally flows from their experience of the emotion anger. Many individuals with anger management problems never use aggression but benefit significantly from the skills and techniques taught in anger management classes. Anger without physical aggression is still an anger management problem.

Another form of aggression is used by individuals who engage in intimate partner abuse. This type of aggression stems from a choice to exert dominance over the intimate partner. In these situations aggression can be done without the buildup of emotion as is seen in people with anger management problems. Although a batterer of intimate partners, if observed during aggression, may use the same behaviors as those who express anger through aggression, battering is not typically an issue of anger management.

Domestic violence has its roots in very different dynamics than does aggression that is the result of unmanaged anger. Very specifically, domestic violence stems from beliefs and attitudes about intimate relationships and the need for dominance, power and control over partners that are considered ‘less than’ the aggressor in worth and status. Management of battering requires treatment that is significantly different than treatment for anger management. The issues of interpersonal power and control dynamics within intimate relationships must be addressed and corrected. Anger management, on the other hand, addresses the ineffective and, at times, dangerous mishandling of strong emotion.

People with anger management problems can learn to use techniques that prevent aggression. Anger management involves the controlling of anger escalation so that aggression does not occur in those who escalate emotionally to such behavior. In contrast, domestic violence treatment focuses upon the beliefs and attitudes about intimate relationships and partners that make partner abuse and aggression an option or choice.

Anger Management & Domestic Violence (BIPP) Classes in Houston, TX

Gregory Kyles, LPC, CAMF
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute

How Do I Know if I Need Anger Management Classes?

There are many ways to know if you need an anger management class, but only a few examples are listed here.  If you are not sure if you need an anger management class, consult a professional and get an anger management evaluation.
Some indications that you have an anger management problem are that you are controlling, use intimidation or manipulation, feel chronic hostility, have frequent interpersonal conflicts, or are known by others to be an angry employee, an angry boss or angry spouse.  If you are questioning whether your anger is problematic, the following questions may help you better decide:

Do I use anger in the workplace?
Do I have trouble expressing feelings other than anger?
Do I engage in angry behaviors to the point of harassment or abuse?
Do I confuse assertiveness with anger?
Have I ever thought that I need help to manage my anger?
Have I been told that I use intimidation or manipulation in relationships?
Have I been told that I am controlling?
Do I find myself blowing up in times of stress?
Do I have chronic stress?
Do I do property damage, make threats, get into physical fights, and yell?
Do I find myself focusing on things, situations and people and becoming angry?
Do I find myself interrupting others, becoming impatient, not able to listen?
Do I resist seeking compromise, or coming to an honest compromise, when there is conflict?
Do I have trouble stating my needs and become resentful when others do not meet them?
Do I have effective techniques for stress management?

These are some of the questions that can help you decide if you may need anger management classes.  The professional who will conduct an anger management assessment will ask similar questions to help you determine if anger management classes can decrease your stress, lower anger levels, improve your coping skills in everyday life, improve your relationships, and better equip you to meet your own personal goals. If you have problematic anger, anger management classes will help you in all these areas by increasing your emotional intelligence—your awareness of emotional states, and your knowledge of how to manage them appropriately.  As your emotional intelligence increases through anger management classes, you will find that many, many areas of your life improve.  Anger is a natural emotion, but what we do with anger can make our lives unmanageable and problematic or can create a life in which we are more successful and less stressed.
An anger management assessment will identify your current emotional intelligence—what you know about emotions in yourself and others, how to express emotions appropriately and how to manage them successfully.  Anger management classes will increase emotional intelligence giving you the tools you need to be less stressed, in more satisfying relationships, manage your workplace experience more effectively and, overall, improve your daily coping and performance.

For additional information please visit

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
Houston, Texas

BIPP Groups in Houston, Texas

The purpose of the Domestic Violence Institute of Texas’ Battering Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP) is to help male batterers understand their actions and how they alone can control their behavior so that they can live without violence.

Group sessions are held five (5) days a week:

Monday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Tuesday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Wednesday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Thursday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Friday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.

For additional information please call 281-970-6611 or visit our website .

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC
Director, Domestic Violence Institute of Texas

Anger Management Classes: Assessments are very important!

Anger is an emotion that we can’t ignore and we can’t get away from because it is with us all the time. We have figured out a way to deal with anger that either works for us or doesn’t but often it’s the way we were raised.

Anger sometimes is controlling and often is hurtful. People have a tendency to lash out instead of coming to terms with what it is that makes them angry. This is where anger assessment comes into play.

Anger in the workplace has become a problem these days. Managers are often working with line workers who get angry when the line isn’t working the way it should. There have been countless accounts on television about people who do disgusting things in their workplace to get back at a boss when they feel they were mistreated. There are also accounts of how workers have destroyed property because they were angry about something that happened at work. Executives aren’t free of anger either though they tend to think they are exempt from it.

In relationships domestic violence occurs because one or more partners are angry with the others. One may try to manipulate the other and there is always controlling and intimidation. This is one of the most difficult places for anger because it escalates to violence.

In this process there is a need for anger assessment so that people can understand their potential for anger. There are a variety of ways to do this and taking anger tests on the Internet are a good way to start this process. Most of the tests will tell you where you are on their particular anger scale and you will generally have a few questions to answer. Some of the formats you will see will include true and false or specific questions. Some of the questions you may see include:

 Are you frequently angry?
 Does your anger last for a long period of time?
 Do you find that the least little thing can set you off?
 Do you find yourself always on the defensive?
 Does your anger control your life?
 Does your anger help you get through the day?
 Do people tell you that you are intense when you are angry?
 Do you become aggressive when angry?

The Internet test will score your answers and let you know where you stand in terms of your level of anger. Keep in mind that these types of tests should be used as preliminary tests unless you get it from counseling or coaching site.

Anger Assessment and Anger Management: When you find yourself getting angry and taking it out on people around you it’s time to seek professional help. There are many counseling and coaching programs that can help you assess where you are and give you techniques to use to help you manage your anger. By understanding how to manage your anger you will become a healthier person and gain more friends.

For more information about obtaining an anger assessment and/or classes please visit Anger Management Institute of Texas’ website or call 281-477-9105.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Houston, Texas

Managing Your Anger using Assertive Communication

When someone says something to you do you instantly fly into a rage? Do you switch into a manipulation mode and try to make things work the way you want them? Do you intimidate people to get what you want? If your answer is yes to any of these questions you should consider that you have an anger management problem.

Anger is a part of everyday life and its something we can’t run away from or avoid. Many times the reason we are having problems is because no one every taught us how to deal with anger. Maybe we saw people in our homes exhibiting a certain behavior when angry and we adopted that some type of behavior.

When you think about it you will probably also notice that you are probably experiencing fear when you first start to feel anger. In fact, fear is often a major cause of anger because both emotions make us feel out of control. When some people feel out of control their first reaction is to lash out.

Employers have begun to look at the area of anger management because they understand that some great employees may have problems getting along with others because they haven’t been taught how to do it. They recommend anger management classes for specific employees and they attempt to help them improve.

Anger can also be destructive and can lead to violence. In order to stop this from happening many people learn what to do to control their impulses and become a more balanced individual. In order to do this some people will need anger management training.

Anger management has two basic goals. First, it is to help you reduce the feelings of anger and secondly it is to help you control the physical feelings you have as you are leading up to an angry episode. When you are exhibiting angry behavior it is more difficult to calm yourself down than if you understand your triggers and stop them before they start. Learning to manage your anger can help you become a stronger employee and open you to opportunities in the workplace.

Anger management is an important part of life in general because it makes you a healthier person. A person who shows anger all the time is also sufferance from avoidance of problems that need to be confronted head on.

Communicate more effective using Assertive Communication: If you are the type of person who doesn’t stand up for yourself and has difficulty interacting with others, you can benefit from learning to be more assertive in your communications. This doesn’t mean becoming aggressive it is the ability to express yourself through your opinions, feelings and attitudes without taking advantage of someone else or without causing anxiety to yourself. Learning to use “I” statements instead of blaming and using facts instead of judgments are two ways that you can learn to communicate more effectively and express your feelings. By doing this you will encourage positive feedback from others around you.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers

Anger Management: The Value of Emotional Intelligence

A few years ago Emotional Intelligence came into the mainstream and everyone was learning more about how they handed their emotions. Many businesses use this to help communication between workers and the boss. Understanding your emotional intelligence is an important part of everyday life because it helps you create a more balanced life.

Emotional Intelligence has nothing to do with Intelligent Quotient (IQ). Instead it is about people skills. Specifically it is the ability to recognize, understand and regulate your own emotions and those of others. By being able to make better choices about emotions you can understand how to act or react in any situation. In fact, research has shown that people who are able to manage their own feelings and work more effectively with others are more likely to live happier lives.

In the workplace, Emotional Intelligence has become more important because employers use it as a predictor of which employees will make the best leaders on projects. There are certain assumptions that are made about employees who score high on Emotional Intelligence. For instance, an employer would expect that this employee was able to control their own emotions, understand how to communicate well with others and how to be a strong problem solver. This person may have a great sense of humor and be able to show empathy to other people. All traits that are important in the workplace.

Emotional Intelligence is also important in personal relationships because it helps everyone communicate more effectively. Let’s face it. Emotions are a big part of relationships and they can run rampant if they aren’t controlled. When we understand Emotional Intelligence and how to use it we can strengthen existing relationships and increase our ability to communicate more effectively. It will also help us learn more about ourselves.

Without Emotional Intelligence many relationships break up because the two people (whether friends or married) can’t seem to get past the hurt feelings that accumulate if people don’t understand how to communicate effectively. Emotional Intelligence helps you sort out communication challenges and deal with them straight on. It also helps you improve your people skills and develop a more interesting personality.

Students benefit from Emotional Intelligence because it allows them to focus better on their work, it helps build self confidence and it can create new curiosity. In the workplace, when you are taking courses to improve your job or to apply for a new job, your Emotional Intelligence could lead you to a pay raise.

Emotional Intelligence and Anger Management: The workplace is often an emotional place at times for a lot of reasons. Some businesses make it clear that showing any type of emotion is inappropriate. Some people can become angry and abusive when confronted with certain situations. Without Emotional Intelligence there is a tendency to strike out with fighting or other violence. When Emotional Intelligence is learned it can stop edgy situations from becoming more difficult and it can empower individuals to take control instead of taking revenge.

For additional information about effective stress management, anger management, and assertive communication skills, along with tools to increase your emotional intelligence call the Anger Management Institute of Texas 281-477-9105 or visit

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers

Effective Stress Management Skills for the Workplace

The reasons for stress are varied. Some of the common stressors are financial worries, medical issues, work pressures, traffic congestion, child related issues, strained relationships, death of a loved one and loneliness.

Stress affects you both physically and mentally. Headaches, allergies, insomnia, lethargy, hair loss and exhaustion are physical symptoms of stress. Other symptoms of stress include depression, anxiety, frustration, rage and hostility.

Stress is not all bad. Experts suggest that a certain amount of stress is necessary and desirable in our lives to progress and grow. Without the presence of stress, we become complacent and prone to slacking.

Stress at the workplace is a source of much unhappiness and health issues. Stress is pervasive at all levels of the organization. The only difference lies in the ability to manage stress and use it positively. It is noticed that line workers are less capable of controlling stress as compared to higher level executives and managers. Perhaps, this is on account of rigorous training and development given to those in higher positions.

Workplace stress arises from the following factors:

• Unrealistic deadlines and too much of workload
• Regular overtime
• Reporting to more than one boss
• Stagnancy in the job, no growth or promotions
• No increments in salary at regular intervals
• Inattention from supervisors and managers
• Strained relations between co-workers

Even relationships do not escape the onslaught of stress. Lack of communication, health problems, financial worries, infidelity and suspicion are some of the relationship stressors. Many marriages and relationships break up because of uncontrolled stress.
Stress Management is essential if we want to let go of stress and lead productive lives.

Stress Management at the Workplace: The prosperity of an organization depends on its workforce. Therefore, the management should take proper precautions to minimize stress at the workplace.

o Workers should not be burdened with unreasonable workloads and unrealistic deadlines.
o Incentive schemes and perquisites should be provided to reward good performance.
o Yearly appraisals and increments in salary should be made.
o Informal interaction between managers and workers and between peers should be encouraged.
o The job should not be monotonous as monotony kills enthusiasm and excitement.
o Group activities like meetings and discussions help kill the drudgery of life at work.
o Intimidation by supervisors should be replaced with constructive criticism and honest feedback

Stress Management through Assertive Communication:
Assertiveness can be a great stress buster. It is surprising that most of the stress in our lives is caused because of our inability to communicate effectively. People who have conquered the art of assertive communication are less likely to get into arguments thereby reducing stress. Aggression breeds aggression. It puts people on the defensive and makes them less likely to listen to reason. Passivity on the other hand conveys a lack of strength and will power. Assertive communication can help to a large extent in keeping stress at bay. It helps us get what we want without coming across as overbearing and domineering. Assertive Communication helps in keeping stress at arms length by avoiding conflict through reasoning and direct communication.  

For additional information about effective stress management, anger management, and assertive communication skills, along with tools to increase your emotional intelligence call the Anger Management Institute of Texas 281-477-9105 or visit

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers