Aggression, Anger Management and Domestic Violence

Aggression is a behavior that harms, or seeks to harm, someone. It also is behavior that does or attempts to do property damage. Aggression includes mental, emotional and psychological abuse as well as violence such as physical assault, vandalism and other destruction of property (even one’s own). Other aggression can also be reckless and endangering behaviors such as driving recklessly, the reckless handling of firearms or other behavior that could potentially harm another person or property. Reckless and endangering behavior conveys a strong message that the safety of others (and their property) is not important. Furthermore, reckless and endangering behaviors ‘say’ that if others are harmed or there is property loss that is not important. Verbal abuse—the use of words to coerce, threaten, intimidate or humiliate another person, is also considered to be aggressive behavior.

Stalking through physical presence or by technological means such as phone calls, text messaging, and emails is also aggressive behavior.
It is a myth that anger leads to aggression or that aggression is a natural expression of anger. Many erroneously believe that the emotion of anger will, over time, build to the point that anger will be expressed through aggression. There are some individuals who go very quickly and habitually to aggressive behavior whenever the emotion of anger is felt and for these people, aggression naturally flows from their experience of the emotion anger. Many individuals with anger management problems never use aggression but benefit significantly from the skills and techniques taught in anger management classes. Anger without physical aggression is still an anger management problem.

Another form of aggression is used by individuals who engage in intimate partner abuse. This type of aggression stems from a choice to exert dominance over the intimate partner. In these situations aggression can be done without the buildup of emotion as is seen in people with anger management problems. Although a batterer of intimate partners, if observed during aggression, may use the same behaviors as those who express anger through aggression, battering is not typically an issue of anger management.

Domestic violence has its roots in very different dynamics than does aggression that is the result of unmanaged anger. Very specifically, domestic violence stems from beliefs and attitudes about intimate relationships and the need for dominance, power and control over partners that are considered ‘less than’ the aggressor in worth and status. Management of battering requires treatment that is significantly different than treatment for anger management. The issues of interpersonal power and control dynamics within intimate relationships must be addressed and corrected. Anger management, on the other hand, addresses the ineffective and, at times, dangerous mishandling of strong emotion.

People with anger management problems can learn to use techniques that prevent aggression. Anger management involves the controlling of anger escalation so that aggression does not occur in those who escalate emotionally to such behavior. In contrast, domestic violence treatment focuses upon the beliefs and attitudes about intimate relationships and partners that make partner abuse and aggression an option or choice.

Anger Management & Domestic Violence (BIPP) Classes in Houston, TX

Gregory Kyles, LPC, CAMF
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute

How Do I Know if I Need Anger Management Classes?

There are many ways to know if you need an anger management class, but only a few examples are listed here.  If you are not sure if you need an anger management class, consult a professional and get an anger management evaluation.
Some indications that you have an anger management problem are that you are controlling, use intimidation or manipulation, feel chronic hostility, have frequent interpersonal conflicts, or are known by others to be an angry employee, an angry boss or angry spouse.  If you are questioning whether your anger is problematic, the following questions may help you better decide:

Do I use anger in the workplace?
Do I have trouble expressing feelings other than anger?
Do I engage in angry behaviors to the point of harassment or abuse?
Do I confuse assertiveness with anger?
Have I ever thought that I need help to manage my anger?
Have I been told that I use intimidation or manipulation in relationships?
Have I been told that I am controlling?
Do I find myself blowing up in times of stress?
Do I have chronic stress?
Do I do property damage, make threats, get into physical fights, and yell?
Do I find myself focusing on things, situations and people and becoming angry?
Do I find myself interrupting others, becoming impatient, not able to listen?
Do I resist seeking compromise, or coming to an honest compromise, when there is conflict?
Do I have trouble stating my needs and become resentful when others do not meet them?
Do I have effective techniques for stress management?

These are some of the questions that can help you decide if you may need anger management classes.  The professional who will conduct an anger management assessment will ask similar questions to help you determine if anger management classes can decrease your stress, lower anger levels, improve your coping skills in everyday life, improve your relationships, and better equip you to meet your own personal goals. If you have problematic anger, anger management classes will help you in all these areas by increasing your emotional intelligence—your awareness of emotional states, and your knowledge of how to manage them appropriately.  As your emotional intelligence increases through anger management classes, you will find that many, many areas of your life improve.  Anger is a natural emotion, but what we do with anger can make our lives unmanageable and problematic or can create a life in which we are more successful and less stressed.
An anger management assessment will identify your current emotional intelligence—what you know about emotions in yourself and others, how to express emotions appropriately and how to manage them successfully.  Anger management classes will increase emotional intelligence giving you the tools you need to be less stressed, in more satisfying relationships, manage your workplace experience more effectively and, overall, improve your daily coping and performance.

For additional information please visit

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
Houston, Texas

What is Anger: Identifying the Need for Help with Anger

Anger is an emotional state. It can be triggered by both internal and external cues. As an emotion, anger is a natural response and serves many purposes. It is based in human biology (as are other emotions) and serves us through the survival drive in its most fundamental form. Anger is a strong protective force. It creates physiological responses that signal us and prepare us to take action if needed by the drive to survive.

Apart from its basic and instinctual purpose, however, anger is also useful in protecting one’s self psychologically and emotionally. Feelings of anger can signal, for example, that one feels taken advantage of, dismissed or violated in some way. It helps us to set boundaries when such conditions have arisen.

Whatever the trigger, the presence of anger implies the perception of threat. A threat may be one that actually endangers physical well-being, giving us the energy to protect ourselves and others. Or, the perception of a threat that is potentially damaging to our emotional and psychological integrity can also ‘ramp us up’ to protect as well.

Anger is typically driven by perception and interpretation of events and situations. Do I perceive danger? Do I perceive threat? These are the unspoken, often consciously unthought-of questions that our anger will answer. Additionally, anger is a subjective, very personal response. What angers one may not even be noteworthy to another. In many important ways, personal history and how we have learned to cope with others and the world will determine whether or not anger is experienced. Similarly, personal history and coping patterns will determine how angry one will be.

Anger becomes problematic when behaviors follow that are harmful to yourself or others. Anger is also problematic when behaviors create the risk of harm to self or others. For many individuals who do not behave in anger to the point of aggression or physical self-harm, anger can be sabotaging enough to create significant problems. For example, anger is problematic if one’s goals and/or emotional and psychological wellbeing are compromised by anger. Similarly, the individual who is chronically angry may sabotage his own goals and/or emotional and psychological wellbeing.

Certainly, anger is problematic when aggression and violence are used to express anger. Harm to others through physical expressions, or threats of such, can have serious social and legal consequences. Ultimately, the feeling of anger and the use of angry behavior can control one’s life. Consequently, negative consequences occur and accumulate. While anger itself is a normal, very human emotion, aggressive behaviors are typically not, when one losses control of their anger and it becomes harmful to themselves or others – this is the behavior that needs controlled. Aggressions, and threats of aggression, are emergency responses, therefore patterns of angry behavior that are ‘out of proportion’ for the seriousness of the triggering event needs intervention.

Managing anger can be learned by attending an Anger Management Program, please visit for additional information.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Anger Management Institute of Texas
Houston, Texas

Battering Intervention and Prevention Program: Letter from a Batterer

Providing Battering Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP) education services to male batterers is no small task, especially dealing with the minimizing, denying, blaming, faulty core values, and male privilege beliefs on a weekly basis.

Domestic Violence Institute of Texas’ BIPP program customarily provide students an opportunity to share their experience, good or bad, at the end of the 18 week class; some express their joy that the class is over, some who wish to say nothing, and there are those who wish to write and read poems and letters.

Below is a sample of one such revelation:

Mr. Kyles,

In my life I’ve been threw almost everything, and threw it all I’ve found myself asking how did I ever get here. Like the day I first stepped foot into your class. I knew deep inside my heart I needed to be here. But like most of us tried to find ways to maybe feel like we didn’t belong. As I attended more classes I found myself looking forward in to meeting up with all the guys to learn more on how I can better myself. But most of all I’ve learned to accept what I’ve done.

I’ve sat here in this very class for quite sometime now, and I’ve listened to each and every one of us talk about the situations that were all in. Yes, I do know sometimes it seems unfair. So I decided to listen with not only my ears but what we all mostly forget to do from time to time……and that is listen with our hearts.

I cant change the past, nor can I take away all the pain and hurt I’ve caused along the way, but what I do know is I can change how I view things in life now, and strive in every way possible to be a better person for the ones I love.

Mr. Kyles, you present this class in a way that can turn a person that can be as stern as a mule to a person that is now understanding and loving, that alone is a gift in its Self. I’m blessed to be a part of your program. I only wish I could of ran into you long before my troubles. Maybe one day this class will be prerequisite for young men and women around the world.

So for my Family and to all of the families that are involved in this program, I pray for us that we never loose track of the ones we love!

For those of us that wonder if our prayers ever get answered. My answer to you is ……”YES!” just this morning I looked into my daughters and my fiancés eyes and saw a reflection of the man that is going to love them and BE THERE for them for as long as God wants….that reflection of a man was ME.

Our answers have always been there deep within us all. We just need to learn to listen with our hearts.

Thank you for a lesson in life,
Tony A.

Gregory A. Kyles, LPC
Program Director
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute of Texas

Anger Management Classes: Managing Anger with Stress Management

Anger is an emotion that can be both destructive and enlightening. It is one of many emotions we use when we have to express ourselves, and our state of being. In day-to-day situations we can experience everything from mild irritation to a totally rage filled episode. When we are feeling that our anger is uncontrollable, it is time to find ways to manage it more effectively.

Anger is a part of everyday life for many people. It is a complex emotion and it often stems from other feelings and tends to control our lives. The other side of anger is fear and most often when someone is acting out they are afraid of something.

When someone is in a state of fear his or her anger can show as a slow burning situation or the person may react quickly. They may scream and yell or they may just sit and stew. Depending on their personality, they may also show inattention to what is going on or start interrupting other people to get their point across.

In the workplace this can be a very difficult situation because there are so many issues at stake. Some people have lost their jobs because of their attempts at manipulation or their controlling attitude. Anger is a detriment to the workplace and no one likes to hire an angry employee. This is an emotion that must be under control or there will be consequences.

So what can you do to put your anger under control? That is a very good question and it has a variety of different answers. There are many techniques that you can use but the first step is to admit that you are angry. Once you let yourself know this you can start looking at the things that trigger your anger. Do you have mild irritations that go away or are there situations or circumstances that trigger your anger all the time? Some experts suggest keeping an anger journal to see what kinds of things make you angry. This way you can observe any patterns that may be involved.

When you are observing your anger objectively, it’s a good idea not to judge yourself or the other person involved with your anger. It is best to look at what has been controlling you and find ways to work more effectively.

How to Manage Anger with Stress Management: Most of the time stress leads to frustration and frustration leads to anger. Many people find that when their stress level goes down they experience less anger. When you find yourself getting angry take a long walk or do some other type of exercise. This can get you thinking more about your workout instead of your problems and it is a good way to relax. Some people listen to music to relax and others just take a few deep breaths. The bottom line is to make sure you do something to release the anger in a positive way so it can’t control you anymore.

For additional information about anger management, stress management, assertive communication, and emotional intelligence skills please contact the Anger Management Institute of Texas 713-477-9105 or visit our website

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a Certified Anderson & Anderson® Provider

Anger Management Classes and Executive Coaching Services available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, LPC
Program Director
Anger Management & Domestic Violence Institute of Texas

Anger Management Groups in Houston Texas

Anger Management Institute of Texas provides a safe educational environment for clients to learn expressions of anger that are acceptable to society so that violence and self-destructive behavior can be avoided. You will certainly benefit from our classes by learning what stress is, as well as stress management strategies. You will moreover learn how to be more emotionally intelligent and how to use proven communication skills to become a more effective person.

4-Hour Groups: Every Saturday and Sunday

Saturdays: 8:00 a.m. – 12:00 noon
Sundays: 1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.

Please call 281-477-9105 or visit for additional information

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas

BIPP Groups in Houston, Texas

The purpose of the Domestic Violence Institute of Texas’ Battering Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP) is to help male batterers understand their actions and how they alone can control their behavior so that they can live without violence.

Group sessions are held five (5) days a week:

Monday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Tuesday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Wednesday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Thursday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Friday: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.

For additional information please call 281-970-6611 or visit our website .

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC
Director, Domestic Violence Institute of Texas