Domestic Abuse: Who Is A Wife Beater?

A wife beater is someone to perpetrates violence against their spouse. There is a notion that this type of domestic abuse is relegated to people who are poor, uneducated and perhaps have substance abuse problems. There are television programs that continue to portray the wife beater as almost a stereotype. A man who is on drugs or has been drinking, living in squalor who is beating his wife. What most people do not understand is that domestic violence crosses all levels of society. It does not have a barrier when it comes to social class, religion, color or culture. The well educated doctor can be just as likely to be a wife beater as the uneducated and unemployed alcoholic. The problem is that the wives of those who are prominent members of society are less likely to report the domestic violence.

Because of the stereotype attached not only to the wife beater but also the victim of domestic violence, those who live in upscale communities and consider themselves upstanding citizens in their neighborhood, church or social arena are more likely to keep this dirty little secret hidden. However, there are numerous examples of wife beaters who have been well educated, wealthy and prominent members of society.

One such instance is the case of Dianne Masters who was married to a prominent Chicago attorney. Despite years of domestic violence against her by her husband, a lawyer who was also a wife beater, the crime went unreported. Ironically, Mrs. Masters was largely responsible for creating a shelter and battering intervention program in Chicago in which she was active until her death. At the hands of her husband, Alan Masters. No one but her closest friends suspected that she, herself, was a victim of a wife beater who ultimately ended her life when she tried to get out of their marriage.

Losing the stereotype of the wife beater is one of the key elements when it comes to creating a battering intervention and prevention program such as BIPP. Those who are victims of this type of violence should not be afraid to come forward for fear they will be shunned by society and seek the help that they need. Those who are perpetrators of this type of crime need to come to terms with the fact that what they are doing is wrong, that the violence is a form of control that must be stopped and not feel as if they are above the law simply because they, themselves, do not feel that they fit the stereotype of a wife beater. A wife beater is anyone who uses physical violence against their wife in order to maintain control in their household. It is an unacceptable form of violent behavior and crosses all lines of society. Those who accept their behavior as wrong are the ones who can benefit from intervention programs

Domestic Violence Institute of Texas offers Battering Intervention and Prevention Program – BIPP Classes in Houston, Texas.

For additional information please call 281-970-6611 or visit our website www.dvi-tx.com.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
http://www.dvi-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.com

Disruptive Anger in the Workplace

The workplace is a melting point of people from different backgrounds, cultures and communities. Conflicts and differences of opinion are bound to occur. Add to that deadlines, work pressures and responsibilities and you get an entire workplace drama.

Newspapers frequently enumerate stories of employees going over the edge and shooting their colleagues or destroying company property. Ex-employees turn out to be spiteful and reveal confidential information to competitors. Some retaliate by wiping out years of company data and wrecking back-up files.

Manpower is a resource that has to be handled with care. Rough handling can be highly detrimental to the morale and productivity of the organization as a whole.

Workplace anger is experienced at all levels beginning from line staff and ending with executives and managers. However, it has been observed that lower levels of the hierarchy react more violently as compared to higher level executives. Perhaps, this is due to lack of proper training and orientation. Top executives on the other hand get more exposure to soft skills and communication programs. Prompting strikes and damaging property is more frequent among factory workers and daily wage earners. Executives retaliate differently. They may resort to back-biting, manipulation, intimidation and spite to release their resentment. It’s difficult to say which is the lesser of the two evils: getting violent or acting malicious.

Both are detrimental to the overall work environment. While violence is dangerous to lives and property, silent sufferance creates a negative atmosphere and dampens morale.

Reasons for Workplace Anger: Listed below are of the common reasons for anger at the workplace:

 Leaves not granted
 Regular overtime at the workplace
 No appreciation for good performance
 Promotions awarded to “yes men” as opposed to good performers
 Salary hikes not approved
 Overly critical supervisors or managers
 Partiality towards certain employees
 Termination of employment
 
Steps to curb Workplace Anger: Managers should be cognizant of the first signs of aggression. Absenteeism, late-coming, tardiness and deterioration in performance are some warning signals.
• Organizations should invest in Anger Management Programs at regular intervals to enable employees to express feelings and release pent-up emotions.
• One-to-one sessions with employees should take place regularly even when no problems are apparent. This helps prevent any lurking anger issues that may blow up later.
• Active listening and conversations in informal settings should be encouraged to make people feel at ease and open up.
• Proper systems for complaints and grievances must be established. Every complaint must be dealt with within a specified time frame.
• If an employee has to be terminated, it has to be done as civilly as possible. They should not be made to feel small and humiliated.

Stress Management to control Workplace Anger: Most of our stress is associated with work. Work pressure is on the rise. We are expected to be faster, brighter and more efficient than we already are. A disappointment with our job leads to depression and anger. Hence, controlling stress helps in controlling workplace anger. Being on cordial terms with our colleagues and superiors helps minimize stress at work. It’s not possible to be on good terms with everybody at the workplace. However, even a couple of supportive co-workers can prevent work from becoming a living hell.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.dvi-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

How Do I Know if I Need Anger Management Classes?

anger2There are many ways to know if you need an anger management class, but only a few examples are listed here.  If you are not sure if you need an anger management class, consult a professional and get an anger management evaluation.

Some indications that you have an anger management problem are that you are controlling, use intimidation or manipulation, feel chronic hostility, have frequent interpersonal conflicts, or are known by others to be an angry employee, an angry boss or angry spouse.  If you are questioning whether your anger is problematic, the following questions may help you better decide:

  • Do I use anger in the workplace?
  • Do I have trouble expressing feelings other than anger?
  • Do I engage in angry behaviors to the point of harassment or abuse?
  • Do I confuse assertiveness with anger?
  • Have I ever thought that I need help to manage my anger?
  • Have I been told that I use intimidation or manipulation in relationships?
  • Have I been told that I am controlling?
  • Do I find myself blowing up in times of stress?
  • Do I have chronic stress?
  • Do I do property damage, make threats, get into physical fights, and yell?
  • Do I find myself focusing on things, situations and people and becoming angry?
  • Do I find myself interrupting others, becoming impatient, not able to listen?
  • Do I resist seeking compromise, or coming to an honest compromise, when there is conflict?
  • Do I have trouble stating my needs and become resentful when others do not meet them?
  • Do I have effective techniques for stress management?

These are some of the questions that can help you decide if you may need anger management classes.  The professional who will conduct an anger management assessment will ask similar questions to help you determine if anger management classes can decrease your stress, lower anger levels, improve your coping skills in everyday life, improve your relationships, and better equip you to meet your own personal goals. If you have problematic anger, anger management classes will help you in all these areas by increasing your emotional intelligence—your awareness of emotional states, and your knowledge of how to manage them appropriately.  As your emotional intelligence increases through anger management classes, you will find that many, many areas of your life improve.  Anger is a natural emotion, but what we do with anger can make our lives unmanageable and problematic or can create a life in which we are more successful and less stressed.

An anger management assessment will identify your current emotional intelligence—what you know about emotions in yourself and others, how to express emotions appropriately and how to manage them successfully.  Anger management classes will increase emotional intelligence giving you the tools you need to be less stressed, in more satisfying relationships, manage your workplace experience more effectively and, overall, improve your daily coping and performance.

It would most helpful if the anger management class curriculum focuses on anger management, stress management, assertive communication skills, and emotional intelligence.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.org
http://www.dvi-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

What is Anger: Identifying the Need for Help with Anger

anger 5Anger is an emotional state.  It can be triggered by both internal and external cues.  As an emotion, anger is a natural response and serves many purposes. It is based in human biology (as are other emotions) and serves us through the survival drive in its most fundamental form.  Anger is a strong protective force.  It creates physiological responses that signal us and prepare us to take action if needed by the drive to survive. 

 Apart from its basic and instinctual purpose, however, anger is also useful in protecting one’s self psychologically and emotionally.  Feelings of anger can signal, for example, that one feels taken advantage of, dismissed or violated in some way.  It helps us to set boundaries when such conditions have arisen. 

Anger is typically driven by perception and interpretation of events and situations.  Do I perceive danger?  Do I perceive threat?  These are the unspoken, often consciously unthought questions that our anger will answer.  Additionally, anger is a subjective, very personal response.  What angers one may not even be noteworthy to another.  In many important ways, personal history and how we have learned to cope with others and the world will determine whether or not anger is experienced.  Similarly, personal history and coping patterns will determine how angry one will be.

Anger becomes problematic when behaviors follow that are harmful to yourself or others.  Anger is also problematic when behaviors create the risk of harm to self or others.  For many individuals who do not behave in anger to the point of aggression or physical self-harm, anger can be sabotaging enough to create significant problems.  For example, anger is problematic if one’s goals and/or emotional and psychological wellbeing are compromised by anger.  Similarly, the individual who is chronically angry may sabotage his own goals and/or emotional and psychological wellbeing.

Certainly, anger is problematic when aggression and violence are used to express anger.  Harm to others through physical expressions, or threats of such, can have serious social and legal consequences.  Ultimately, the feeling of anger and the use of angry behavior can control one’s life. Consequently, negative consequences occur and accumulate.  While anger itself is a normal, very human emotion, aggressive behaviors are typically not.  Aggressions, and threats of aggression, are emergency responses. 

Disruptive patterns of angry behavior that are ‘out of proportion’ for the seriousness of the triggering event need intervention. 

Managing anger can be learned by attending an Anger Management Program; it would be in your best interest if the program curriculum focuses on anger management, stress management, assertive communication, and emotional intelligence.   

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.dvi-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

Anger Management and Emotional Intelligence

The four domains of emotional intelligence are:

·Self-awareness/anger management

·Self-control

·Social Awareness

·Relationship Management

Anger management is actually the key to managing all intense, negative emotions. Emotions determine our styles of communication as well as our ability to make decisions. Anger is a common symptom of stress.

All legitimate anger management classes, as well as Executive Coaching Programs, must include an assessment that is designed to determine the participants level of functioning in managing anger, recognizing and managing stress, preferred styles of communication and the skill level in exhibiting empathy.

Following the non-psychiatric assessment, skill enhancements are provided via individual Coaching or small group facilitation. Both methods of intervention include client workbooks, DVDs, and videos.

Anger management coaching is, and should be, viewed as a positive intervention for people interested in increasing their emotional intelligence.

By George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF, CEAP http://www.andersonservices.com/

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.org
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert