Anger Management and Emotional Intelligence Skills

A few years ago Emotional Intelligence came into the mainstream and everyone was learning more about how they handed their emotions. Many businesses use this to help communication between workers and the boss. Understanding your emotional intelligence is an important part of everyday life because it helps you create a more balanced life.

Emotional Intelligence has nothing to do with Intelligent Quotient (IQ). Instead it is about people skills. Specifically it is the ability to recognize, understand and regulate your own emotions and those of others. By being able to make better choices about emotions you can understand how to act or react in any situation. In fact, research has shown that people who are able to manage their own feelings and work more effectively with others are more likely to live happier lives.

In the workplace, Emotional Intelligence has become more important because employers use it as a predictor of which employees will make the best leaders on projects. There are certain assumptions that are made about employees who score high on Emotional Intelligence. For instance, an employer would expect that this employee was able to control their own emotions, understand how to communicate well with others and how to be a strong problem solver. This person may have a great sense of humor and be able to show empathy to other people. Keep in mind all of these traits that are important in the workplace.

Emotional Intelligence is also important in personal relationships because it helps everyone communicate more effectively. Let’s face it. Emotions are a big part of relationships and they can run rampant if they aren’t controlled. When we understand Emotional Intelligence and how to use it we can strengthen existing relationships and increase our ability to communicate more effectively. It will also help us learn more about ourselves.

Without Emotional Intelligence many relationships break up because the two people (whether friends or married) can’t seem to get past the hurt feelings that accumulate if people don’t understand how to communicate effectively. Emotional Intelligence helps you sort out communication challenges and deal with them straight on. It also helps you improve your people skills and develop a more interesting personality.

Students benefit from Emotional Intelligence because it allows them to focus better on their work, it helps build self confidence and it can create new curiosity. In the workplace, when you are taking courses to improve your job or to apply for a new job, your Emotional Intelligence could lead you to a pay raise.

Emotional Intelligence and Anger Management: The workplace is often an emotional place at times for a lot of reasons. Some businesses make it clear that showing any type of emotion is inappropriate. Some people can become angry and abusive when confronted with certain situations. Without Emotional Intelligence there is a tendency to strike out with fighting or other violence. When Emotional Intelligence is learned it can stop edgy situations from becoming more difficult and it can empower individuals to take control instead of taking revenge.

To learn more about emotional intelligence, anger management, stress management, and assertive communication skills please call 281-477-9105 or visit our website http://www.ami-tx.com.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.dvi-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles

Domestic Violence: What Is The Typical Outcome Of Family Violence?

Family violence is usually a learned behavior that will continue to cycle until it is stopped. The typical outcome of this type of behavior is that it is passed on to children in the family so that they themselves become victims of abuse or perpetrate violence. The seeds are sown early when it comes to family violence which usually begins with an adult who has learned this behavior from their own upbringing. In most cases, the perpetrator of family violence is the male head of the household. A female will usually enable this type of behavior by continuing to accept excuses for the behavior.

Children who grow up in a home that is filled with family violence often either become victims of violence themselves or grow up to be batterers. Violence and domestic abuse have their roots in control. Children who live in a home where domestic violence is present not only consider this behavior to be normal, but also feel a lack of control in their own lives. The outcome is usually them emulating the behavior that they grow up with, usually by the parent of the same gender.

Many girls who grow up in a home where they witness domestic abuse, even if the violence is not inflicted on them but on their mother who is the victim of the abuse will subconsciously seek out men who are controlling and often batterers, thus completing the cycle. They will then raise their own children in the same environment in which they were raised. Boys who have a father who is a wife beater may grow up to emulate the behavior as well and very often do. As children, a boy may stand up for his mother against an abusive father, but will eventually learn this type of behavior, especially if the mother is an enabler and allows the domestic violence to continue.

In cases where family abuse is present, it affects the entire family, regardless of whether or not they are the target of the actual abuse. The cycle of abuse continues to play out in future generations and can manifest as child abuse, battering, spousal abuse and even sexual abuse. Family violence requires a battering intervention program to prevent violence from occurring as well as a prevention program that teaches everyone in the family which type of behavior is acceptable. First and foremost, those who are perpetrating the crime of family violence must learn to change their behavior. Counseling is available for those who are victims of family violence that can be beneficial in breaking the cycle of domestic abuse and violence so that victims come to a realization of what is normal behavior and what is not in a family situation.

Domestic Violence Institute of Texas offers Battering Intervention and Prevention Program – BIPP Classes in Houston, Texas.

For additional information please call 281-970-6611 or visit our website http://www.dvi-tx.com.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
http://www.dvi-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com

Anger Management Classes: Assessments are very important!

Anger is an emotion that we can’t ignore and we can’t get away from because it is with us all the time. We have figured out a way to deal with anger that either works for us or doesn’t but often it’s the way we were raised.

Anger sometimes is controlling and often is hurtful. People have a tendency to lash out instead of coming to terms with what it is that makes them angry. This is where anger assessment comes into play.

Anger in the workplace has become a problem these days. Managers are often working with line workers who get angry when the line isn’t working the way it should. There have been countless accounts on television about people who do disgusting things in their workplace to get back at a boss when they feel they were mistreated. There are also accounts of how workers have destroyed property because they were angry about something that happened at work. Executives aren’t free of anger either though they tend to think they are exempt from it.

In relationships domestic violence occurs because one or more partners are angry with the others. One may try to manipulate the other and there is always controlling and intimidation. This is one of the most difficult places for anger because it escalates to violence.

In this process there is a need for anger assessment so that people can understand their potential for anger. There are a variety of ways to do this and taking anger tests on the Internet are a good way to start this process. Most of the tests will tell you where you are on their particular anger scale and you will generally have a few questions to answer. Some of the formats you will see will include true and false or specific questions. Some of the questions you may see include:

 Are you frequently angry?
 Does your anger last for a long period of time?
 Do you find that the least little thing can set you off?
 Do you find yourself always on the defensive?
 Does your anger control your life?
 Does your anger help you get through the day?
 Do people tell you that you are intense when you are angry?
 Do you become aggressive when angry?

The Internet test will score your answers and let you know where you stand in terms of your level of anger. Keep in mind that these types of tests should be used as preliminary tests unless you get it from counseling or coaching site.

Anger Assessment and Anger Management: When you find yourself getting angry and taking it out on people around you it’s time to seek professional help. There are many counseling and coaching programs that can help you assess where you are and give you techniques to use to help you manage your anger. By understanding how to manage your anger you will become a healthier person and gain more friends.

For more information about obtaining an anger assessment and/or classes please visit Anger Management Institute of Texas’ website www.ami-tx.com or call 281-477-9105.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Houston, Texas

Managing Your Anger using Assertive Communication

When someone says something to you do you instantly fly into a rage? Do you switch into a manipulation mode and try to make things work the way you want them? Do you intimidate people to get what you want? If your answer is yes to any of these questions you should consider that you have an anger management problem.

Anger is a part of everyday life and its something we can’t run away from or avoid. Many times the reason we are having problems is because no one every taught us how to deal with anger. Maybe we saw people in our homes exhibiting a certain behavior when angry and we adopted that some type of behavior.

When you think about it you will probably also notice that you are probably experiencing fear when you first start to feel anger. In fact, fear is often a major cause of anger because both emotions make us feel out of control. When some people feel out of control their first reaction is to lash out.

Employers have begun to look at the area of anger management because they understand that some great employees may have problems getting along with others because they haven’t been taught how to do it. They recommend anger management classes for specific employees and they attempt to help them improve.

Anger can also be destructive and can lead to violence. In order to stop this from happening many people learn what to do to control their impulses and become a more balanced individual. In order to do this some people will need anger management training.

Anger management has two basic goals. First, it is to help you reduce the feelings of anger and secondly it is to help you control the physical feelings you have as you are leading up to an angry episode. When you are exhibiting angry behavior it is more difficult to calm yourself down than if you understand your triggers and stop them before they start. Learning to manage your anger can help you become a stronger employee and open you to opportunities in the workplace.

Anger management is an important part of life in general because it makes you a healthier person. A person who shows anger all the time is also sufferance from avoidance of problems that need to be confronted head on.

Communicate more effective using Assertive Communication: If you are the type of person who doesn’t stand up for yourself and has difficulty interacting with others, you can benefit from learning to be more assertive in your communications. This doesn’t mean becoming aggressive it is the ability to express yourself through your opinions, feelings and attitudes without taking advantage of someone else or without causing anxiety to yourself. Learning to use “I” statements instead of blaming and using facts instead of judgments are two ways that you can learn to communicate more effectively and express your feelings. By doing this you will encourage positive feedback from others around you.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.dvi-tx.com

Effective Stress Management leads to Effective Anger Management

Anger is always a reaction to an intense inner emotion not a planned event, and stress interferes with one’s ability to deal with intense emotions; it’s safe to say if one doesn’t have effective stress management and/or prevention skills one will never be able to effectively manage one’s anger.

Anger is an emotion that can be both destructive and enlightening. It is one of many emotions that we have to express ourselves and our state of being. In day to day situations we can experience everything from mild irritation to a totally rage filled episode. When we are feeling that our anger is uncontrollable, it is time to find ways to manage it more effectively.

Anger is a part of everyday life for many people. It is a complex emotion and it often stems from other feelings and tends to control our lives. The other side of anger is fear and most often when someone is acting out they are afraid of something.

When someone is in a state of fear their anger can show as a slow burning situation or the person may react quickly. They may scream and yell or they may just sit and stew. Depending on their personality, they may also show inattention to what is going on or start interrupting other people to get their point across.

In the workplace this can be a very difficult situation because there are so many issues at stake. Some people have lost their jobs because of their attempts at manipulation or their controlling attitude. Anger is a detriment to the workplace and no one likes to hire an angry employee. This is an emotion that must be under control or there will be consequences.

So what can you do to put your anger under control? That is a very good question and it has a variety of different answers. There are many techniques that you can use but the first step is to admit that you are angry. Once you let yourself know this you can start looking at the things that trigger your anger. Do you have mild irritations that go away or are there situations or circumstances that trigger your anger all the time? Some experts suggest keeping an anger journal to see what kinds of things make you angry. This way you can observe any patterns that may be involved.

When you are observing your anger objectively, it’s a good idea not to judge yourself or the other person involved with your anger. It is best to look at what has been controlling you and find ways to work more effectively.

How to Manage Anger with Stress Management: Most of the time stress leads to frustration and frustration leads to anger. Many people find that when their stress level goes down they experience less anger. When you find yourself getting angry take a long walk or some other type of non-competitive exercise. This can get you thinking more about your workout instead of your problems and it is a good way to relax. Some people listen to music to relax and others just take a few deep breaths. The bottom line is to make sure you do something to release the anger in a positive way so it can’t control you anymore.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, LPC, CAMF
Anger Management Institute of Texas
http://www.dvi-tx.com

Anger Management: The Value of Emotional Intelligence

A few years ago Emotional Intelligence came into the mainstream and everyone was learning more about how they handed their emotions. Many businesses use this to help communication between workers and the boss. Understanding your emotional intelligence is an important part of everyday life because it helps you create a more balanced life.

Emotional Intelligence has nothing to do with Intelligent Quotient (IQ). Instead it is about people skills. Specifically it is the ability to recognize, understand and regulate your own emotions and those of others. By being able to make better choices about emotions you can understand how to act or react in any situation. In fact, research has shown that people who are able to manage their own feelings and work more effectively with others are more likely to live happier lives.

In the workplace, Emotional Intelligence has become more important because employers use it as a predictor of which employees will make the best leaders on projects. There are certain assumptions that are made about employees who score high on Emotional Intelligence. For instance, an employer would expect that this employee was able to control their own emotions, understand how to communicate well with others and how to be a strong problem solver. This person may have a great sense of humor and be able to show empathy to other people. All traits that are important in the workplace.

Emotional Intelligence is also important in personal relationships because it helps everyone communicate more effectively. Let’s face it. Emotions are a big part of relationships and they can run rampant if they aren’t controlled. When we understand Emotional Intelligence and how to use it we can strengthen existing relationships and increase our ability to communicate more effectively. It will also help us learn more about ourselves.

Without Emotional Intelligence many relationships break up because the two people (whether friends or married) can’t seem to get past the hurt feelings that accumulate if people don’t understand how to communicate effectively. Emotional Intelligence helps you sort out communication challenges and deal with them straight on. It also helps you improve your people skills and develop a more interesting personality.

Students benefit from Emotional Intelligence because it allows them to focus better on their work, it helps build self confidence and it can create new curiosity. In the workplace, when you are taking courses to improve your job or to apply for a new job, your Emotional Intelligence could lead you to a pay raise.

Emotional Intelligence and Anger Management: The workplace is often an emotional place at times for a lot of reasons. Some businesses make it clear that showing any type of emotion is inappropriate. Some people can become angry and abusive when confronted with certain situations. Without Emotional Intelligence there is a tendency to strike out with fighting or other violence. When Emotional Intelligence is learned it can stop edgy situations from becoming more difficult and it can empower individuals to take control instead of taking revenge.

For additional information about effective stress management, anger management, and assertive communication skills, along with tools to increase your emotional intelligence call the Anger Management Institute of Texas 281-477-9105 or visit http://www.ami-tx.com.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.dvi-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com

Domestic Violence: Why Are Some People More Violent?

Scientists have been looking for a violent gene in the makeup of criminals and killers in an effort to prove that some people are inherently more violent than others. As of yet, they have not made any headway in this type of argument. Most violent people have lived a violent past. Most psychologist and doctors agree that violence is not something that someone is born with, but a learned behavior that develops over time.

Some people are more violent, but they are not born that way. Those who are more violent have been taught that violence is an acceptable way to resolve conflict. They were not born violent, but most likely witnessed violence at an early age. They saw their parents fighting and watched how they resolved conflicts. If violence was part of the conflict resolution, then they saw this as appropriate. Children end up learning how to have a relationship from adults and family members around them. If a child grows up in a home where violence is accepted, then they are more likely to be more violent as an adult.

People who are exceptionally violent are usually the victims of violence or abuse at an early age. They have little empathy for their victims and can only think of their own gratification. Serial killers and career criminals fall into this category. Their backgrounds usually detail horrific cases of abuse.

The way to determine if someone is violent is to see how they react to conflict. A spouse abuser will not usually exhibit violence towards the spouse at the early stages of the relationship, until he or she is secure with the relationship. Most wife beaters, for example, will not lay a hand on their wives until after the wedding. Then they let their guard down. The abuse usually starts out small and then escalates.

If someone reacts to conflict with an inappropriate amount of rage or finds it difficult to face the conflict, they can be a violent person. Not all violent people react quickly to conflict. While some will fly off the handle at the slightest provocation, others will hold in the anger until it reaches a boiling point, at which point they lash out. Both aggressive and passive aggressive behavior can often lead to violent behavior, especially if someone grew up in a household where violent behavior was an accepted way of life.

People are not born to be violent. This behavior is taught to them from the time that they are children. Studies indicate that violent people can learn, with proper therapy, to unlearn their violent behavior and live a non-violent life.

Domestic Violence Institute of Texas offers Battering Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP) Classes in Houston, Texas.

For additional information please call 281-970-6611 or visit our website www.dvi-tx.com.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Domestic Violence Institute of Texas
http://www.dvi-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com