Anger Management Institute of Texas Services – Houston

Anger Management Institute of Texas provides a safe educational environment for clients to learn socially acceptable means of dealing with anger. Our program is designed for those who are seeking self-help; court mandated referrals, and those referred by human resource managers or employers. We also have one-on-one Executive Coaching for executives, police officers, firefighters, medical personnel, managers, supervisors, and anyone else who may need help in dealing with stress and anger in the workplace.

The anger management program consists of two components: assessment and skill development. The Conover Assessment is used in the initial interview; it focuses on the participant’s level of functioning in the areas of managing stress and anger, individual communication skills, and emotional intelligence. We also conduct a post-test at termination of the program to determine the level of success achieved by the client.

Anger Management Institute of Texas uses the Anderson & Anderson intervention program developed by George Anderson, which is the most effective and most widely recognized curriculum in the world. The workbooks used include exercises focusing on enhancing emotional intelligence, improving assertive communication, as well as behavior strategies for recognizing, dealing with, and managing anger and stress.

Assessment interviews are by appointment only.

Fees: Anger Assessment $50; Client Workbook $30; Weekday Classes $50 per 2 hour group session; Weekend Classes $50 per hour – 50% Discount Available !!

Class Schedule:
Mondays thru Fridays:  6 – 8:00 p.m.
Saturdays:  8:00 a.m. to 12 noon.
Sundays:    1 – 5:00 p.m.

For additional information please call 281-477-9105 or visit our website http://www.ami-tx.com .

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert
 

Anger and Health

The effects of anger on health have more to do with duration than frequency and intensity. The normal experience of overt anger lasts only a few minutes. But the subtle forms of anger, such as resentment, impatience, irritability, grouchiness, etc., can go on for hours and days at a time. Consistent, prolonged levels of anger give a person a five times greater chance of dying before age 50. Anger elevates blood pressure, increases threat of stroke, heart disease, cancer, depression, anxiety disorders, and, in general, depresses the immune system (angry people have lots of little aches and pains or get a lot of colds and bouts of flu or headaches or upset stomachs). To make matters worse, angry people tend to seek relief from the ill-moods caused by anger through other health-endangering habits, such as smoking and drinking, or through compulsive behavior such as workaholism and perfectionism.

Laboratory experiments have shown that even subtle forms of anger impair problem-solving abilities and general performance competence. In addition to increasing error rates, anger narrows and makes rigid mental focus, tending to obscure alternative perspectives. The angry person has one “right way” of doing things, which, if selected in anger, is seldom the best way. There is nothing you can do angry (resentful, irritable, grouchy, impatient, chilly) that you can’t do better not angry.

Because it acts on the entire central nervous system as an amphetamine, anger always produces a physiological “crash,” often experienced as depression when the issues causing the anger remain unresolved. Think about it. The last time you got really angry, you got really depressed afterwards. The angrier you get, the more depressed you get. And that is merely the physiological response, even if you keep from doing something while angry that you’re ashamed of, like hurting the feelings of someone you love.

What is an Anger Problem?

A dangerous myth about an “anger-problem” restricts its definition to aggression, abuse, hurting people, or destroying property. But this describes only one of a great many forms of anger. You have an anger problem if some subtle form of anger – that you may not even be aware of – makes you do what is not in your best interest or keeps you from performing at your highest potential. This could mean something subtle, like putting a chilly wall between you and others or a continual impatience or low frustration tolerance that interferes with problem solving and performance competence.

Whatever the form of anger, in persistence you run the risk of becoming a reactaholic, with your thoughts, feelings, and behavior totally controlled by whoever or whatever you’re reacting to. The more reactive you are, the more powerless you feel; anger is ultimately a cry of powerlessness.

Self-Compassion and Compassion for Others

Mastery of the three steps of self-compassion and compassion for others makes us virtually immune to the ill-effects of anger. The first step of self-compassion is seeing beneath the symptom or defense (anger, anxiety, manipulation, obnoxious behavior) to the cause, which is some form of core hurt (feeling unimportant, disregarded, accused, devalued, guilty, untrustworthy, rejected, powerless, unlovable). Second, the core hurt must be validated (this is how I feel at this moment), and, third, changed (this behavior or event or disappointment or mistake does not mean that I’m unimportant, not valuable or lovable.) Compassion for others is recognizing that their symptoms, defenses, and obnoxious behavior come from a core hurt, validating it, and supporting them while they change it. Compassion does not excuse obnoxious behavior. Rather, it keeps us from attacking the already wounded person, which allows focus on changing the undesired behavior.

Anger Regulation versus Anger Management

Regulation of anger means healing the hurt that causes it by internally restoring the core personal value that seems diminished by the behavior of another. In contrast, anger management requires enduring the hurt that causes the anger but redirecting its effects to avoid aggression and trouble. Anger regulation employs the principles of emotional intelligence: awareness of internal experience, the ability to control the meaning of one’s emotional experience, and empathy for the emotional experience of others. An excellent regulation technique, called HEALSTM, obviates the powerlessness of anger by providing the sense of internal power, well-being, self-compassion, and compassion for others necessary for optimal health and problem-solving. HEALSTM is a technology that, with practice, automatically invokes a response of self-compassion and compassion for others whenever anger and other symptoms and defenses are stimulated, keeping the focus on solutions to the problem, rather than attacking the person. More than 90% effective in lowering anger to problem-solving and performance-efficient levels, HEALSTM can be learned in three or less sessions of training.

Anger at Your Children: Who Has the Power?

Every parent since the beginning of time has been painfully aware that children can do a great many things to irritate, frustrate, and otherwise turn the pleasant feelings of their caretakers into moods from hell. Those same creatures who look like little darlings when they sleep can almost at their whim produce headaches, upset stomachs, jangled nerves, strained muscles, aching bones, and overloaded emotional and sensory circuits.

But there’s one thing that even the most exuberant or obstinate of children cannot do: They can’t make us angry. They cannot force us to give up internal regulation of our emotional experience. To understand this scientific fact that seems to fly in the face of common sense, consider the psychobiological function of anger.

Why Anger is a Problem in Families

An automatic response triggered whenever we feel threatened, anger is the most powerful of all emotional experience. The only emotion that activates every muscle group and organ of the body, anger exists to mobilize the instinctual fight or flight response meant to protect us from predators. Of course, our children are not predators. For the vast majority of problems in family life, anger constitutes overkill and under-think. Applying this survival-level fight or flight response to everyday problems of family living is like using a rock to turn off a lamp or a tank to repair a computer.

Is anyone really stupid enough to turn off a lamp with a rock? When angry, everybody is that stupid. The problem has nothing to do with intelligence, it has to do with how hurt we are. Anger is always a reaction to hurt. It can be physical pain, which is why, when you bang your thumb with a hammer while trying to hang a picture, you don’t pray.

Far more often, though, anger is a reaction to psychological hurt or threat of hurt, in the form of a diminished sense of self. Vulnerability to psychological hurt depends entirely on how you feel about yourself. When your sense of self is weak or disorganized, anything can make you irritable or angry. When it’s solid and well-integrated, the insults and frustrations of life just roll off your back.

For instance, if you’ve had a bad day, if you’re feeling guilty, a little bit like a failure, or just disregarded, devalued, or irritable, you might come home to find your kid’s shoes in the middle of the floor and respond with: “That lazy, selfish, inconsiderate, little brat!” Yet you can come home after a great day of feeling fine about yourself, see the same shoes in the middle of the floor and think, “Oh, that’s just Jimmy or Sally,” and not think twice about it.

The difference in your reaction to the child’s behavior lies entirely within you and depends completely on how you feel about yourself. In the first case the child’s behavior seems to diminish your sense of self: “If he cared about me, he wouldn’t do this; if my own kid doesn’t care about me, I must not be worth caring about.” The anger is to punish the child for your diminished sense of self. In the second instance, the child’s behavior does not diminish your sense of personal importance, value, power, and lovability. So there is no need for anger. You don’t need a tank to solve the problem of the shoes in the middle of the floor. Rather, the problem to be solved is how to teach the child to be more considerate in his behavior; you won’t do that by humiliating him because you feel humiliated. His reaction to humiliation will be the same as yours: an inability see the other person’s perspective, an overwhelming urge to blame, and an impulse for revenge or punishment.

Modeling Anger Regulation for Children

Although their intellectual maturity is far less advanced than that of their parents, children experience anger for the same reasons as adults, mostly to defend the sense of self from pain and temporary diminishment. At the moment of anger, both children and adults feel bad about themselves. Making angry people feel worse about themselves will only make things worse. Rather, children must learn from their parents that the sense of self is internal and can be regulated only within themselves. They must restore their own sense of core value while respecting the rights of other people, which means regulating the impulse for revenge through validation of the hurt causing the urge for revenge, and through understanding the perspective of the person at whom the anger is directed. They will only learn to do this by watching their parents do it.

Self-Compassion and Compassion for Others

Mastery of the three steps of self-compassion and compassion for others makes us virtually immune to the ill-effects of anger. The first step of self-compassion is seeing beneath the symptom or defense (anger, anxiety, manipulation, obnoxious behavior) to the cause, which is some form of core hurt (feeling unimportant, disregarded, accused, devalued, guilty, untrustworthy, rejected, powerless, unlovable). Second, the core hurt must be validated (this is how I feel at this moment), and, third, changed (this behavior or event or disappointment or mistake does not mean that I’m unimportant, not valuable or lovable.) Compassion for others is recognizing that their symptoms, defenses, and obnoxious behavior come from a core hurt, validating it, and supporting them while they change it. Compassion does not excuse obnoxious behavior. Rather, it keeps us from attacking the already wounded person, which allows focus on changing the undesired behavior.

Anger Regulation

Here are a few of the common activators of anger, which we call core hurts: feeling disregarded, unimportant, accused, guilty, untrustworthy, devalued, rejected, powerless, unworthy of love. Once activated, core hurts put the sense of self at stake in solving the problem, which greatly distorts thinking, blows the problem out of proportion, and increases the emotional intensity of the response. Of course the child is responsible only for his/her behavior, not your sense of self.

To regulate anger, we must reduce the sensitivity of these activators. We must learn to view anger as a signal, not to assign blame to our children for tripping the activator, but to look within the self to reset the activated core hurt, i.e., to restore Core Value, a sense of personal adequacy and worthiness. With the sense of self no longer at stake, the problem, no longer a source of self-diminishment, can be solved for what it is: a call for more attention/effort, an inconvenience, disappointment, or mistake.

Emotional regulation skills can be learned fairly quickly in three concentrated learning sessions, with consistent practice between sessions. But whether learned through training or through personal experience that internally regulates anger activators, successful parenting, personal happiness, optimal work efficiency, physical and psychological health, and the capacity to sustain viable attachment relationships demands self-regulation of the impulse to anger and resentment.

By Steven Stosny http://www.compassionpower.com

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert
 

4 Signs That You May Have An Anger Problem

You may not want to admit it, but many of you already know that at least one point of your life, you have had a problem with anger. But there are many people out there who are not quite sure if they have an issue with anger. To help you find out, below are some indicators:

1. When you do get angry, you do not get over it for a long time. It may last until you explode sometimes, or the anger may even stay inside of you, to fuel the fires of your rage. If you have heard of people who “hold a grudge” then those are the ones that I am referring to here.

Do you have a tendency to hold grudges? Can you think of more than one person right now, whom you have not talked to in a long time that you are still angry with?

2. You spend most of the time feeling frustrated and irritable. You get disappointed as well as unsatisfied about almost anything in life. But with all of these negative feelings you have, you do not in fact get very angry.

Anger may be an unacceptable emotion to you, whereas frustration and irritability seem more acceptable, thus keeping you in a constant state of unfulfilled in life.

3. Another sign of anger problem is if you never get angry. You just seem to be void of experiencing that emotion. There are times when you know you should be getting angry, but the feeling just doesn’t seem to come. Your anger seems very mild or watered down, and you never are able to release it.

4. Last but not least, you may have an anger problem if you tend to be very sarcastic or cynical not only about yourself, but everyone and the world around you. Your time around people is spent on judging other people and making constant “jokes” that have very negative connotations around them.

Although you try to make yourself believe that these jokes are harmless, deep inside you know that constantly putting everything down and disguising it as a joke is just a way to cover up your anger issues. For some reason you are not able to express your anger and it becomes apparent when it is “leaking” from your conversations.

By John Edmond
 
Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert
Houston, Texas

Do you have trouble shutting your mouth when angry?

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” If you answered yes to the title question I am sure you have realized the truth in this quote by Ambrose Bierce. In order to gain control over your tongue you must be determined to see things differently. People who lose their temper tend to view life in a negative and judgmental way. You have the ability to direct your mind away from angry and upset feelings. You need to realize that you can have peace of mind instead of conflict.

This article will cover a variety of mindsets and behaviors that will teach you how to keep your mouth shut when you are angry.

1) Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Remember that you have two ears and only one mouth. Use them in this proportion. It’s better to be a good listener than to be a good speaker. Listen carefully to what the other person has to say. Take your time before giving them an answer.
2) Don’t be double minded. You can’t have peace of mind and conflict at the same time. Be clearly focused on the outcome that you want. (Example: “I want to go to bed tonight feeling close to my partner.”).
3) You can’t be right and be married. You have to decide “Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?” Trying to be right will destroy the connection between you. Instead, strive to do the right thing.
4) Don’t jump to conclusions. Slow down and think through the situation.
5) Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head. I often hear people say, “I cannot keep from saying the thoughts I have.” You can and you must.
6) As I was writing this, my daughter reminded me of Thumper’s quote in the movie, “Bambi”. “If you can’t say something nice…don’t say nothing at all.” This is always good advice.
7) Don’t overreact to criticism. Beneath the criticism is an underlying message. Criticism is a smoke screen for deeper feelings. I compare criticism to cheese on a mousetrap. What happens when the mouse takes the cheese? He gets his tail caught in the trap. That’s what happens when you take the bait of criticism. Don’t take the bait. Listen for the underlying message.
8) Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, “I hate this!” “This is driving me crazy!” “I can’t stand this!” These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as “I can handle this.” “This is not that big of a deal.” “I have unshakeable peace of mind.” “Nothing bothers me.” Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace.
9) If someone uses absolute terms like “always”, “never”, “everybody”, and “nobody”; don’t take them literally. These are emotional terms. If your wife says “You never take me anywhere.” and you know that’s not true; don’t take it as a personal attack. Try and hear her underlying request that she needs to know she is special and she wants to spend some time with you.
10) Don’t overreact and don’t give advice too quickly. This only trains people not to be open with you.
11) Don’t try to get in the last word. It’s not worth the damage you could do by trying to win or be heard.
12) If you are angry repeat this scripture based verse in your head, “In all things be self controlled.” Say it over and over so that you don’t get derailed into an argument.
13) There is life and death in the spoken word. Make sure your words build people up versus tearing them down.
14) Remember to breathe. Stick with the basics. When you are upset, take a few deep breaths.
15) Strive to use an approach that promotes honor and respect. This can make the difference between a twenty minute argument and a 3 day war.
16) Realize that your anger most likely is not going to help solve the problem and may actually make the matter worse.
17) Calmness will help you get to the heart of the matter. This leads to conflict resolution. Trying to be right or show your might will lead to conflict.
18) Staying connected is more important than making your point.

The only one who is responsible for the way your life works out is you. You cannot change the past, but you can take responsibility for your future. All it takes is a decision. Decide to live a life of discipline rather than one of regret. Remember that discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons. Develop the power of a tamed tongue.
Author’s Bio

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner. Read more of his articles at http://www.TheRelationshipSpecialist.com
Sign up for his free newsletter at http://www.PowerfulRelationshipAdvice.com

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert
Houston, Texas

Anger Management Institute of Texas Fast Track Classes

Anger is a natural human emotion. However, it can cause emotional and physical distress if not controlled. Don’t let a reckless driver on the freeway ruin what would have otherwise been a good day for you. Anger Management Institute of Texas can provide you with techniques that will help you utilize your anger in a way that leads to positive outcomes.

Enroll in our Fast Track anger management class sessions. This 4 hour course is designed to meet the needs of clients who wish to avoid attending classes on a weekly basis. Rather than attending weekly classes, it is now possible to enroll, complete the assessment and attend this course until the required number of hours  have been completed. These classes take place on every Saturday & Sunday of the month.

Cost: Enrollment & Assessment $80 + $25 per hour (16) = $480

For additional information please contact our office at 281-477-9105 or visit http://www.ami-tx.com .

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert
Houston, Texas

Creating Balance With Your Anger

Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage.

Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

We often grow up believing various misconceptions about anger, such as:

 Nice people do not get angry.
 We might lose control or go crazy if we share our anger.
 If someone gets angry with us, we must have done something wrong.
 People will not love us anymore if we get angry.
 It’s okay to get angry if we can justify our feelings.

These misconceptions do not work for us in our day-to-day relationships.

So, what do we do with our built up anger? Well, we tend to do one of two things with it. Either we hold on to it or we act it out in inappropriate ways. By holding on to our anger, we eventually struggle with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and /or physical kinds of problems such as headaches or ulcers. If we explode with our anger, we may say or do things we eventually come to regret. Neither of these approaches will work for us.

First, we need to be aware of a few ideas about anger. We have a right to feel angry. Other people also have a right to feel angry. But we need to deal with our anger in appropriate ways. Dealing with our stored anger may take time and effort. Learning to appropriately express our anger takes patience.

Here are some ideas on how to deal with anger:

1. Allow yourself and others to feel angry.
2. Acknowledge your thoughts associated with your anger.
3. Look for patterns in which anger usually occurs.
4. Identify areas where you need change.
5. Practice talking openly and honestly about anger without acting on it.
6. Take responsibility for your anger. Other people are not in charge of your feelings.
7. Use physical outlets such as playing ball or yard work to release some emotional energy.
8. Write a letter to the person with whom you are angry, but do not mail it. This helps to deal with anger without anyone ever knowing.

As we begin to deal appropriately with our anger, we need to be easy with ourselves. This is especially true if we have been holding onto our anger for a long time. Do not overly focus on anger or look for reasons to become angry. Remember to be patient and to allow some mistakes, because this is how we learn.

Our anger is okay to express when we need to.

By Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T.

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert
Houston, Texas

Calming Anger By Developing Emotional Responsibility

We all get angry sometimes. It is a natural reaction to events that lead us to believe that we deserve better or someone has wronged us and we feel that they absolutely must not do that to us as it is not fair and undeserved. But what is anger?

“Chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.” — The American Psychological Association.

By Ray Stone

Anger can be caused by internal and external events. These events are usually seen as out of our control. I invite you to take responsibility for your emotions and particularly anger. People often say things like, “what he did made me furious!” or “that person really winds me up!”.

What does this tell us? What can we learn from this typical response to things that make us angry? What we can see is that people often place the blame at someone else’s door. It makes sense, after-all, we haven’t done anything to deserve being treated in a way that makes us feel angry. That is why we get angry. We feel helpless to it. After-all, we can’t control the other person. And so we end up resigned to the fact that we have to live with other peoples actions or words and the feelings they provoke in us.

What if I told you that this needn’t be the case. What if I told you that you, that’s right you, have the power to control how you feel. Right now, you can stop feeling angry or furious. And you can do it again whenever you feel helpless to how others are making you feel. All of us have the ability to take responsibility for our own emotions. That sounds like a nice sentence but what does it mean in practical terms? The key to a healthy emotional state is controlling our own emotions.

I make myself angry, and you make yourself angry too. Own it. Take responsibility for it. That is the first step to a healthy emotional state of being. When you accept this, the notion of you making yourself angry, you can then start to cultivate a healthy mental and emotional state of being. I’m not suggesting that you never allow yourself to feel angry ever again. That would be unhealthy. You see, there are healthy and unhealthy emotions and we need to recognise them when they occur and react appropriately. I used to find myself screaming at the television. Usually whenever a soap opera was on. Soap opera’s thrive on conflict, and there is a very large dose of it everyday on TV. I learnt to accept the reality that I could do nothing to change all the conflict on TV. I wasn’t happy about it, but I wasn’t angry anymore. Instead I felt calm, so too can you, if you begin practising emotional responsibility. That was an example of unhealthy anger. Allowing small things to effect our mood strongly.

What if you’d placed your trust in someone, who you consider a close friend of colleague. The front door key to your house while you were away on holiday. They said they were more than happy to feed the cats while you were away. But you got back from holiday to find your cat’s malnourished and their food bowls empty for what was probably a good few days. Should you feel angry? Yes you should. Someone abusing your trust is a deplorable way to behave and so you have every right to be angry with that person.

I hope I have made it clear the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger. It’s important not to prevent yourself from feeling healthy anger in a situation that many would expect to feel a certain amount of healthy anger. Don’t forget: unhealthy anger can be controlled by exercising emotional responsibility and will help you identify triggers that cause you to feel unhealthy angry.

Anger Management Classes available 7 days a week in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert
Houston, Texas