Manage My Anger

Everybody has trials and tribulations. Life takes its toll on all of us at some point of time or the other. We get angry, depressed, frustrated and miserable. Everyday is not a Sunday or a fun day for that matter. But that’s life and the sooner we accept that the better.

 

Why do I feel angry? The reasons for anger are many and vary from person to person. Perhaps, you feel that you do not get enough credit at work. Maybe, your boss harbors a grudge and seeks every opportunity to reprimand you. Is your relationship stressing you out? Do you suffer from low self-esteem and take it out on your employees? Do you have any unresolved feelings leftover from your childhood?

 

We feel angry because we have expectations. We expect that we’ll have high-flying careers, empathetic supervisors, competent employees and supportive partners. And then when things don’t go according to our master plan we become frustrated and angry.

 

How Can I manage my anger?

• Accept the situation that you’re in. Avoidance of accepting circumstances will not help in dealing with reality.
• Try focusing on the positive things in your life like your family and friends, career, talents and your spouse or partner. Remember that you have everything that you need even though you might not have everything you desire.
• Consciously make an effort to stay calm by either tackling the situation later or counting to ten or even twenty before you react.
• Always make it a point never to raise your hand or resort to violence to resolve a problem. Treat others the way you would want them to treat you.
• Expressing feelings in a positive manner paves the path to open communication and alleviates unnecessary stress and anger.
• Deep breathing helps you experience a feeling of calm and serenity.
• Try to postpone thinking of the situation or person that made you angry and do something to distract yourself from negative thoughts. Thinking about the problem some time after it takes place throws a new light altogether.
• Many experts advocate writing your angry thoughts and feelings on paper and then tearing or burning it up. Be as graphic as possible. This will help release your frustration and anger.
• Talk to a friend or a neutral party who does not have anything to do with the problem at hand. Opening up to a close friend helps lightening the moment and putting you in a good mood.
• Attempt to see the humor in the situation. Making light of the situation dilutes the anxiety and pressure associated with it.
• If all else fails, enroll at a local Anger Management Class. Speaking with people facing anger management issues shows that you’re not alone and that there are several people going through the same thing that you are.

 

Can Emotional Intelligence help to manage my Anger? Developing emotional intelligence is of utmost importance in managing and controlling anger. Many anger management classes teach participants to develop emotional intelligence to deal with anger. Emotional intelligence involves recognizing, understanding and accepting emotions to deal with them in a positive manner. If a person develops a substantial degree of emotional intelligence he can come to terms with anger and control his reactions and responses to it. Emotional intelligence also involves understanding the emotions and feelings of others. The next time you feel angry with someone try to understand what prompts him to behave in a manner that offends you. Comprehending the feelings of others is a stepping stone to achieving emotional intelligence and managing anger.

 

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

 

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

 

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com

http://www.ami-tx.org
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

Learn to Manage Your Anger

Feelings and emotions just happen to us. We cannot rid ourselves of them. All we can do is control the way they influence our lives. The same rule applies to anger. We cannot wish it away but we can manage the way it powers our lives and those around us.

Anger ranges from anything between a mild irritation to a full blown temper tantrum. When we are angry we experience a rush of adrenaline to our veins. Certain people also experience a tightening of the jaw, gnashing of teeth and clenching of fists. These are some of our physical responses to anger. Anger, like any other emotion is neither good nor bad. It’s just there and it’s something we need to deal with. The problem occurs when we find it difficult or impossible to manage or regulate our anger.

Being cool and calm when faced with a storm is imperative especially at the workplace. The equations at an office change daily. One day sees you as the blue eyed boy at work. The next day you may be pulled up for something that isn’t your fault. Everyday brings in its wake new challenges and struggles. We get angry because we decide that certain things are unfair. But then not everything in life is fair.

Managing anger is an indicator of your ability to deal with stress and pressure. Employees have lost promotions because they failed to deal with a crisis in a dignified manner. Managers who fly off the handle when faced with a calamity fail to retain their staff. Nobody likes to work in an organization where tempers are on a short fuse and everybody’s screaming all the time. Marriages disintegrate because of anger issues. Domestic violence is on the rise thanks to this most primitive of all human emotions. 

Managing Anger: Desperate situations call for desperate measures. If you find yourself raising your hand each time you feel angry you need to seek help. Now!!!

Managing anger is crucial for your mental and physical well-being. Many experts say that the first step to managing anger is recognizing it as it occurs. When we are angry we need to acknowledge it. Next, we need to understand why we are angry. Is it something that we can control? Has something fallen short of our expectations? Do we feel that something is unfair? Once you take the time to understand the reason for your anger you will be able to see things in a new light. Then all you need to do is to shift the focus away from your anger and concentrate on finding a solution to the problem. By the time you’ve done this you’ll find your anger fading away. What’s more you can give yourself brownie points for tackling the situation without bursting at the seams.

Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, yoga and meditation have been advocated by many researchers to manage anger. Enrolling in an anger management class is also an option for those who experience violent fits of rage. Expressing feelings and stating needs are good exercises to release pent-up frustrations.

Managing Anger through Assertive Communication: Assertive communication involves sticking to your convictions while communicating without being offensive. When we are angry we say things that we wouldn’t have said otherwise. Many of these things hurt the people who are close to us. You have to learn to convey thoughts without appearing rude and opinionated. Being angry does not give us the right to fire expletives and attack the opposite person. An aggressive communicator will create arguments rather than find solutions. Passive communicators fail to stand up for themselves and come across as weak and timid. An assertive communicator on the other hand will not let himself be bullied nor will bully someone else. Assertiveness is the key to expressing anger in an effective manner. Hence, managing anger through assertive communication has become the need of the hour.

Assertive communication, stress management, anger management, and emotional intelligence skills can be learned in an effective anger management program. Please visit www.ami-tx.com for additional information. 

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.org
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

Emotional Intelligence and Anger Management

We are all emotional beings. We may experience emotions in varying levels of intensity but nobody can deny having emotions. Recognizing and understanding emotions is of paramount importance in our personal lives and interactions with others.

Emotional Intelligence is a relatively new concept in the field of Psychology. It is the ability to recognize, understand and regulate your own emotions and those of others. Some experts say that emotional intelligence is inborn while others believe that it is a trait that can be acquired and developed. Intelligence Quotient (IQ) has always been given significance in judging the brainpower of an individual. However, these days it is increasingly recognized that IQ is not the only criteria to judge performance. A highly intelligent person may not necessarily be adept at handling his emotions and those of others. Emotional Intelligence may make all the difference in the world because it determines the way we conduct ourselves and interact with others.

Emotional Intelligence is critical in the workplace and in personal relationships. Emotions are intangible. Therefore, initially they were not given attention as far as the workplace was concerned. Workers who are balanced emotionally are empathetic, optimistic, have a positive attitude and are not hesitant when it comes to seeking compromise. Good leadership qualities are often associated with a high degree of Emotional Intelligence. To balance the emotions within a group of people from diverse cultures and backgrounds, it is necessary for the management to recognize, understand and empathize with their emotions. To resolve a problem at the workplace, it is observed that Emotional Intelligence is handier as compared to Intelligence Quotient. An employee with high emotional intelligence can control his own emotions and impulses, communicate with others successfully and even dilute tense situations with foresight and tact. Emotional Intelligence is vital for teamwork and team-building.

Countless marriages and relationships break-up due to lack of Emotional Intelligence in one or both the partners. Relationships are like plants. They require nurturing and nourishment to grow. Inattention and indifference kills them. Couples where both partners exhibit a high degree of emotional intelligence have a much better shot at survival. After all, relationships are all about compromises and understanding the emotions of your spouse or partner.  

Emotional Intelligence and Anger Management: Anger is the most human and most destructive of all human emotions. When we are angry we react impulsively and momentarily lose control of our ability to rationalize. When angry some people turn violent and abusive, others become withdrawn and morose. Emotional Intelligence is extremely necessary to recognize, accept and placate anger. If we are unable to manage our anger, we can be seriously harmful to ourselves, our colleagues and society at large. Temper tantrums and fist fights are caused when people our unable to put a lid on their anger and end up taking the law in their own hands. It is necessary to develop Emotional Intelligence to deal with edgy situations and highly charged individuals. Therefore, developing a high level of emotional intelligence is crucial as far as anger management is concerned. Daniel Goleman, the propagator of this concept advocated Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness and Relationship Management as the four domains of Emotional Intelligence.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.org
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert

A Report From Front Line Anger Management Providers

Certified Anger Management Facilitators (CAMF) throughout the nation are doing good and well. Trained anger management providers who use the Anderson & Anderson curriculum along with the Pre and Posttests are now able to objectively report the success of their intervention.
 
Yacine Bell, CAMF who practices in Oakland, CA. reports a 99% success rate with motivated anger management clients. She tells an interesting story about her one failure. I saw a 68 year old Catholic Nun who was referred for corporal punishment of a student. This client insisted that her approach to disciplining students has always worked and she was not willing to change.” Yacine explains that this was not really a failure since the client was simply not motivated to change.
 
Ms. Bell has also developed a protocol for providing assessments of new hires for Bay Area Businesses. She reports this activity to be the fastest growing aspect of her practice.
 
Dr. Thomas Wentz, CAMF who is a member of the Anderson & Anderson Training Faculty is developing a reputation as an effective anger management facilitator as well as a executive coach for disruptive physicians™. Goggle and the Joint Commission on The Accreditation of Health Care Organizations (JCAHO) routinely publish his blogs. Dr. Wentz is also the Editor of the upcoming Anderson & Anderson book, The Practice of Control, Executive Coaching/Anger Management for Physicians.
 
Family Harmony Armonia Familia with 9 locations in Los Angeles County has a major contract with the Los Angeles County Probation Department for most of the Camps for adolescent clients. Family Harmony is also the major provider of anger management for Spanish speaking clients in Los Angeles County.

Gregory Kyles, CAMF, President of Houston based Anger Management Institute is moving to expand its practice to include Batterers™ Intervention.
 
Anderson & Anderson is in negotiations with Terry Schmitz, President of The Conover Company to partner in new assessments components as well as intervention strategies for Civility Training and Emotional Intelligence.
 
The new Anderson & Anderson Executive Coaching book, The Practice of Control, Executive Coaching/Anger Management for Physicians in now in press. It will be available in late September. The level of interest, which is already being expressed, suggests that this book in destined to be a best seller.

Stay tuned to the Anderson & Anderson website and blogs for continuing news in the emerging news specialization of anger management.
 
By George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF www.andersonservices.com

Anger Management Institute of Texas is a certified Anderson & Anderson ® provider.

Anger Management Classes and Anger Management – Executive Coaching available in Houston, Texas.

Gregory A. Kyles, M.A., LPC, CEAP, CAMF
Director, Anger Management Institute of Texas
Diplomate, President of Texas Chapter
American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.ami-tx.com
http://www.ami-tx.org
https://gregorykyles.wordpress.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorykyles
http://www.myspace.com/anger_management_expert